Saturday, March 6, 2021

350 to 40: Making Something “You Can’t Make Now” or “Like That”…Now, and Like...

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"Ah, they just don't make comedies like _______, anymore." "You never could get away with doing ________ now now!" I've said it. You've said it, I'm sure. And it's probably true, in all our cases. They just aren't/won't/don't/can't make movies/TV/cartoons/porn...

360 to 40: Choosing My Midlife Crisis

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I realized today that I'm going to have to choose my midlife crisis in about 360 days. As far as I've been made aware, when a male turns 40 you're issued a few new...

358 to 40: Instead of “Dropping the Kids Off at the Pool,” Let’s Say...

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Have you ever had to take a shit? Chances are, if you're a carbon based lifeform living on Earth, you answered, "Hell yes, James, I have to take a shit often. Because shitting is a...

361 to 40: A Love Letter to Lourdes’ Chicken Soup

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In November, my wife and I will celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary. If you would have asked me in my early adult years if I thought I'd be lucky enough to find someone as...

351 to 40: I Will Be Binge Watching Content For at Minimum 30 Years...

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I just can't keep up. I really can't. I can't watch everything. It's not even that I really want to watch everything; it's that there's so much I want to watch. So in truth, I guess what I'm...

357 to 40: I Satirized Mark Zuckerberg and Now Sacha Baron Cohen Follows Me...

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I swear to god, I am not in any way, shape, or form humblebragging and/or name dropping right now. In fact, I'm still kind of shocked and out of sorts about it all. Last night,...

364 to 40: An Open Letter to My Body

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Dear My Body, What the fuck, man? Are we sick, or aren't we? We've been dealing with this bug for about two weeks now. I think it's time for it to be done with us,...

363 to 40: Time Is Super Stupid

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Time is super stupid. It's a made up concept, for starters. Not that time isn't real, per se, but it's just one way to measure things. And the older I get, the more I...

354 to 40: Raise Your Hand If You Only Exist Because Two Random Strangers...

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Raise your hand if you only exist because two random strangers wanted to fuck.  I see you, Billy. I see you, Sherry. I see you, Katie. I see you...pretty much all of the  seven-plus billion...

349 to 40: On Being Late to Things

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So, I was supposed to publish this one yesterday.  I couldn't though. I just really, really couldn't. It was Halloween yesterday which means the time I'd normally have set aside for this series was...