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Month: March 2017

Cheerful Pence Adds “Caused Spike In Teenage Abortions” to “Gave Whole State More AIDS” on Career Highlight Scrapbook

Vice-President Pence got to cast a tie-breaking vote that helped take women’s control over their own vaginae away, which pleased him so.

Published March 31, 2017
Categorized as Abortion, MAGA Nation, The Political Garbage Chute Tagged Abortion, Christian, Mike Pence, Planned Parenthood, Pro-choice, pro-life, religious right, Women's Health

Conway and Spicer Desperately Trying to Reach Michael Flynn Via the Microwave Network

The Bannon/Trump White House is so desperate to get through to Michael Flynn that they are resorting to unconventional communication mediums.

Published March 31, 2017
Categorized as MAGA Nation, The Political Garbage Chute Tagged Donald Trump, immunity, Kellyanne Conway, Michael Flynn, microwaves, Russia, Russian Hacking, Sean Spicer, wiretapping

Hillary Clinton’s Been Driving By Michael Flynn’s House For 5 Straight Hours Shouting “Lock Him Up!”

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has reportedly been trolling former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn all morning.

Published March 31, 2017
Categorized as MAGA Nation, The Political Garbage Chute Tagged Congress, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, immunity, Michael Flynn, Russia, Russian Hacking, Vladimir Putin

Trump Says He’s “Disappointed and Offended” He Wasn’t Asked To Be In “It” Remake

Co-President Donald Trump is extremely upset that no one in Communist Hollywood asked him to be in the new “It” remake.

Published March 30, 2017
Categorized as MAGA Nation, The Political Garbage Chute Tagged Donald Trump, Hollywood, IT, Stephen King, The Jerk

Deranged, Delusional, Paranoid Conspiracy Theorist Escorted Out of White House Onto Air Force One

There’s been a report that a wild, screaming, delusional, conspiracy theorist was on the grounds of the White House for quite some time.

Published March 30, 2017
Categorized as MAGA Nation, The Political Garbage Chute Tagged Air Force One, Donald Trump, White House

Devin Nunes Asks Mike Flynn To Translate Resignation Letter Into Russian ‘For a Mutual Friend’

If Devin Nunes does resign as House Intelligence Committee Chairman, he wants to make sure his resignation letter can be read by all interested parties.

Published March 30, 2017
Categorized as MAGA Nation, The Political Garbage Chute Tagged 2016 election, Devin Nunes, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Jeff Sessions, Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort, Russia, Russian Hacking

Republicans Advance Bill Allowing USPS to Open Mail Then Gather and Sell Private Information

It’s not just Internet Service Providers that House Republicans think should be allowed to profit on selling your private information.

Published March 29, 2017
Categorized as MAGA Nation, The Political Garbage Chute Tagged Fourth Amendment, internet, Internet Service Providers, Post Office, privacy, Republican Party, United States Postal Service

Sean Spicer To Be Replaced With ‘More Personable Hound Dog Sitting On A Dried-Up Cactus In An Ill-Fitting Suit’

Could White House Press Secetary Sean Spicer be in need of a resume brush-up? And will a hound dog in a suit sitting on a cactus replace him?

Published March 29, 2017
Categorized as MAGA Nation, The Political Garbage Chute Tagged April Ryan, Donald Trump, free press, press secretary, Sean Spicer, Steve Bannon, White House Press Secretary

Washington Nationals Couldn’t Get Trump To Throw Their First Pitch And Went With An Orange Bag Of Diarrhea

Co-President Trump will not be throwing out the first pitch for the Washington Nationals, but something very similar will be.

Published March 28, 2017
Categorized as MAGA Nation, Sports, The Political Garbage Chute Tagged ceremonial first pitch, Donald Trump, first pitch, Major League Baseball, opening day, Washington Nationals

Devin Nunes Spotted On Palace Grounds, Taking Intel To Jabba The Hutt

Did Congressman Devin Nunes, Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, have yet another clandestine meeting with a bloated, powerful slug?

Published March 28, 2017
Categorized as MAGA Nation, The Political Garbage Chute Tagged Devin Nunes, Donald Trump, FBI, House Intelligence Committee, Jabba the Hutt, James Comey, Russia, Russian Hacking, spy

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