Trey Gowdy Repeatedly Shouts ‘Show Me The Benghazi!’ At FBI Director, Deputy Director For 10 Minutes

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to several sources close to the scene, Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) spent ten complete, full minutes shouting, “SHOW ME THE BENGHAZI” directly into FBI Director Christopher A. Wray’s and Deputy Director Rod Rosenstein’s faces following a five hour, extremely contentious congressional hearing yesterday. Over the course of his tenure in the… Continue reading Trey Gowdy Repeatedly Shouts ‘Show Me The Benghazi!’ At FBI Director, Deputy Director For 10 Minutes

14 Year Old Girl Assures Trump and Pence She Wasn’t Really Using Her Reproductive Rights Yet, Anyway

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A 14 year old girl visiting the president and vice president at the White House this morning let them know they’re free to choose someone to replace outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy with a strongly anti-abortion candidate because she’s not using her reproductive rights at the moment. “Mr. President, Mr. Vice… Continue reading 14 Year Old Girl Assures Trump and Pence She Wasn’t Really Using Her Reproductive Rights Yet, Anyway

Trump Says Picking Kennedy’s Replacement Will Be Top Agenda Item In Summit With Putin

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced today that he will be meeting with Russian co-President Vladimir V. Putin next month in their first face to face summit.  “I’m looking forward to this summit with the same anticipation you get when you’re about to see someone who gave you very nice, bigly gift,” Trump said.… Continue reading Trump Says Picking Kennedy’s Replacement Will Be Top Agenda Item In Summit With Putin

Trump Promises To Replace Kennedy With Middle Of The Road Misogynist Corporate Toady and Religious Zealot

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the country girds its collective loins for the knockdown, drag-out political fight that replacing outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy will almost certainly invite, the man who will nominate his replacement is trying to calm the nerves of Americans about the looming debate. “I just want everyone to know I’m going… Continue reading Trump Promises To Replace Kennedy With Middle Of The Road Misogynist Corporate Toady and Religious Zealot

Klansmen Already Lined Up Around Supreme Court Building Wanting To Apply For Kennedy’s Seat

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Within moments of Justice Anthony Kennedy announcing his retirement at the end of July, there were dozens of klansmen lining up around the Supreme Court wanting to apply for his position, and several more have been spotted at the White House in the Oval Office taking their resum├ęs. “I just came down… Continue reading Klansmen Already Lined Up Around Supreme Court Building Wanting To Apply For Kennedy’s Seat

Trump Declares Restaurants “No Free Speech Zones”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Americans dining out are no longer permitted to speak or think freely, according to a new order signed by President Donald Trump. In response to the growing public confrontations between his administration and average citizens at various eating establishments, Trump signed an executive order that makes restaurants, bars, and even food trucks… Continue reading Trump Declares Restaurants “No Free Speech Zones”

Trump Signs Executive Order Reversing President of Texas’ Immigration Policy

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, President Donald Trump took the unusual step of issuing a second executive order stopping a particular policy, despite having already signed one for the very same reason last week. “I shouldn’t have to do this, since you know, I already reversed that horrible Obama Era policy that stated President Donald… Continue reading Trump Signs Executive Order Reversing President of Texas’ Immigration Policy

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Invited To Dine At Reserved Trough In Virginia Restaurant

BOVINE VALLEY, VIRGINIA — Friday night, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked by the owner of the Red Hen restaurant in Virginia to leave the establishment, and the next day she tweeted about her experience. Sanders tweeted that she was “told by the owner of Red Hen in Lexington, VA to leave” and she… Continue reading Sarah Huckabee Sanders Invited To Dine At Reserved Trough In Virginia Restaurant

Trump Orders Congress To Make “Fascist Toady” Protected Class Like Race, Religion, Sexual Preference

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump issued an “Official Presidenting Decree” from the Oval Office this morning, demanding that Congress immediately pass legislation that bars discrimination based on “being a member of a lying, fascist crime syndicate and/or presidential administration.” “I am sick to death of all the reports in the FAKE NEWS MEDIA about my… Continue reading Trump Orders Congress To Make “Fascist Toady” Protected Class Like Race, Religion, Sexual Preference

White House: Melania’s Jacket Was ‘Just Issuing Orders’

  WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, the White House once again waded into the controversy over a jacket that First Lady Melania Trump wore while visiting detained, undocumented migrant children in Texas this week. The jacket, green and long, was adorned with a phrase that the president would later say was directed at the “fake… Continue reading White House: Melania’s Jacket Was ‘Just Issuing Orders’