Lt. Commander Jesus Herbert Christ Reports For Duty On First Day on Trump’s Religious Freedom Space Task Force

CAPE CANVERAL, FLORIDA — Lieutenant Commander Jesus Hubert Christ has officially checked in for his first day of duty in the newly minted joint “Religious Freedom and Space Task Force” created by the Donald Trump presidential administration. Christ is among hundreds of volunteers who enlisted to serve in Trump’s task force dedicated freedom of religion and… Continue reading Lt. Commander Jesus Herbert Christ Reports For Duty On First Day on Trump’s Religious Freedom Space Task Force

Giluliani Defends OJ: ‘I’m Not Even Sure Repeatedly Showing Someone the Edge Of Your Knife In Their Throat Is A Crime’

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Stating that he “might as well” because he was already defending President Donald Trump on TV, Rudy Giuliani told a CNN anchor today that he didn’t think disgraced former actor and NFL legend OJ Simpson was “guilty of any crimes whatsoever.” It’s long been considered one of the most famous… Continue reading Giluliani Defends OJ: ‘I’m Not Even Sure Repeatedly Showing Someone the Edge Of Your Knife In Their Throat Is A Crime’

Gleeful Giluliani Tells Reporters He’s Enjoying ‘Really 9/11-ing Up’ Trump’s Case

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — This weekend Rudy Giuliani, the former New York City Mayor — and current attorney representing President Donald Trump  in the ongoing special counsel investigation into Russian attacks and possible Trump campaign collusion — sent a tweet that left quite a few people scratching their heads. You — Rudy W. Giuliani… Continue reading Gleeful Giluliani Tells Reporters He’s Enjoying ‘Really 9/11-ing Up’ Trump’s Case

Kimberly Guilfoyle: “Fox News Prepared Me Perfectly To Be Surrounded By Dicks No One Wants To See”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Kim Guilfoyle used to be one of Fox News’ hottest commodities; these days however, she’s locked in a bitter dispute with her now former employer over the circumstances of her departure. It’s not all dark times for Guilfoyle though, because she’s dating the son of the most powerful man in… Continue reading Kimberly Guilfoyle: “Fox News Prepared Me Perfectly To Be Surrounded By Dicks No One Wants To See”

Trump: “Oh Do Excuse Me, I’ve Been Meaning To Say ‘Yes Collusion!'”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a sudden about-face from months of public denials, President Donald Trump reversed his previously stated position and said that, in fact, there was collusion between his party and the Kremlin during the 2016 presidential nomination. Mr. Trump was likely motivated to reverse his position because of a bombshell CNN report that his… Continue reading Trump: “Oh Do Excuse Me, I’ve Been Meaning To Say ‘Yes Collusion!’”

POLL: Trump Approval 89% Among People Who Still Use Telegraphs

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The subject of President Donald Trump’s approval ratings has been a sore subject in his administration, seemingly from the very outset. Many have speculated that Trump has clung to his Electoral College victory — that didn’t even rank in the top 20 margins of victory in that regard — because he is… Continue reading POLL: Trump Approval 89% Among People Who Still Use Telegraphs

Poll: Austin Clay, The Trump Hollywood Star Vandal, New 2020 Frontrunner

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA — Austin Clay, 24 years old and a resident of Los Angeles County, claims to be the person who utterly destroyed President Donald Trump‘s star on the world famous Hollywood Walk of Fame this week. After turning himself into police, Clay now faces felony vandalism charges, however, he also currently leads all candidates… Continue reading Poll: Austin Clay, The Trump Hollywood Star Vandal, New 2020 Frontrunner

Vito Corelone Outraged His Lawyer Secretly Taped Their Meetings

STATEN ISLAND, NEW YORK — When it was discovered that The New York Times had copies of clandestine tapes recorded by the attorney for Genco Olive Oil Company CEO Vito Corleone, sources say the business magnate became irate. Law enforcement has long suspected that Corleone might have connections to organized crime, but have never been able to… Continue reading Vito Corelone Outraged His Lawyer Secretly Taped Their Meetings

Trump Calls Michael Cohen, Tapes, Putin, Russia, Election, Crooked Hillary, Electoral College, His Presidency ‘Fake News’

WASHINGTON, D.C. —  After a bombshell dropped on him in the form of CNN publishing one of the secret recordings made by his former attorney, Michael Cohen, President Donald Trump tweeted his initial outrage, and then a few hours more, released a statement calling pretty much the entire known universe “fake news.” https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1022097879253635072 The president’s… Continue reading Trump Calls Michael Cohen, Tapes, Putin, Russia, Election, Crooked Hillary, Electoral College, His Presidency ‘Fake News’

OJ Simpson Says 24 Years Ago Sascha Baron Cohen Dressed Up Like a Knife And Tricked Him Into Murdering Two People

Actor and comedian Sascha Baron Cohen is currently making massive, international headlines because of his new Showtime series, “Who Is America?” In his show, Baron Cohen takes on different personas and utilizes makeup and prosthetic appliances and manages to interview politicians and pundits, getting them to say — and do — outrageous and controversial things.… Continue reading OJ Simpson Says 24 Years Ago Sascha Baron Cohen Dressed Up Like a Knife And Tricked Him Into Murdering Two People