Fox News Worried About Integrity of Trump’s “Worldwide News Network”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — During a conference call with shareholders this morning, a Fox News executive expressed concerns about a new “worldwide news network,” run by the government, which was proposed in a tweet by President Donald Trump. Mr. Trump’s tweets, below: https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1067142820388052993 Speaking to investors, Fox News Deputy Junior Chief Media Officer Jack… Continue reading Fox News Worried About Integrity of Trump’s “Worldwide News Network”

Hitler’s Finally Starting To Get The Comparison

THE CHENEY WING, HELL — Some on America’s left have routinely compared the policies of President Donald Trump to those of Adolf Hitler. Namely, Trump’s critics cite his immigration policy which seems to put a heavy emphasis on curtailing, if not outright ending, immigration from countries where citizens speak Spanish or are Muslim. Many have… Continue reading Hitler’s Finally Starting To Get The Comparison

Trump Wants Statue of Liberty Torch Outfitted With Tear Gas Launcher

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Leading up to the 2018 mid-term election — one that saw his party lose control of the House of Representatives in quite historic fashion — President Trump ramped his rhetoric about a “caravan” of migrants coming up from Central America to the United States, hoping it would energize his base enough to… Continue reading Trump Wants Statue of Liberty Torch Outfitted With Tear Gas Launcher

Trump Had Special Presidential Crayons Made For Answering Mueller Questions

WASHINGTON, D.C. — For months, FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller has been wrangling the president for a sit-down interview, on the record, about Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election, as well as any obstruction of justice that may have occurred from within the administration. This week, Mueller finally got some answers, written, to some… Continue reading Trump Had Special Presidential Crayons Made For Answering Mueller Questions

Hillary Clinton Is Circling Ivanka Trump’s House Shouting “Lock Her Up”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Authorities and eyewitnesses close to the situation are confirming at the time of publication that former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has been circling the D.C. area home of First Daughter-lady Ivanka Trump, shouting at the house as she circles the block. “Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up,”… Continue reading Hillary Clinton Is Circling Ivanka Trump’s House Shouting “Lock Her Up”

Turkey Passes On Pardon From Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s been a longstanding tradition in America for the sitting president to “pardon” a turkey in the week leading up to Thanksgiving. However, this year the condemned gobbler has issued a statement “passing” on a presidential pardon from President Donald Trump because it didn’t want to be “associated with the kinds of… Continue reading Turkey Passes On Pardon From Trump

Trump Says He Gave Stan Lee Inspiration For His Iconic “SuperSpiderHulkThing” Character

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, the comic book world lost one of its most influential and important figures — Marvel founder Stan Lee. President Donald Trump was asked about Lee as he ate lunch in the Oval Office, and he said he’d be “honored” to say a few words about the man who gave the world… Continue reading Trump Says He Gave Stan Lee Inspiration For His Iconic “SuperSpiderHulkThing” Character

After President’s World War Trolling, Macron Suggests He’ll Start Ribbing Trump Over Confederacy Losing

WHERE THE NAKED LADIES DANCE, FRANCE — Last year, the world was abuzz over what seemed to be a budding bromance between French President Emmanuel Macron and American President When Putin Lets Him Donald Trump. Mr. Trump really seemed to be impressed with Macron after visiting France during Bastille Day celebrations. Seeing the French military… Continue reading After President’s World War Trolling, Macron Suggests He’ll Start Ribbing Trump Over Confederacy Losing

Rick Scott: “Once Republican Votes Are Counted, There’s No Need to Continue Counting”

LAKE NOSFERATU, FLORIDA — This week, President Donald Trump weighed in via Twitter on two election recounts currently underway in Florida.┬áMr. Trump’s tweet demanded that the recounts currently being tabulated in the governor’s race and the race for one of its two Senate seats be stopped immediately, and the Republicans in the contest be declared… Continue reading Rick Scott: “Once Republican Votes Are Counted, There’s No Need to Continue Counting”