The Klan Apologizes For Spelling Error In Pro-Trump Pamphlets

WHITE PLAINS, KANSAS — A spokesman for the Ku Klux Klan formally apologized for racist, pro-Donald Trump pamphlets that the KKK disseminated in Kansas during the 2016 presidential election. Specifically, he apologized for something “egregious” and “inexcusable” about the pamphlets. The word “polls” was misspelled. “I’m here to apologize about the pro-Trump leaflets the Ku… Continue reading The Klan Apologizes For Spelling Error In Pro-Trump Pamphlets

Trump Accuses China Of Being A Chinese Hoax

WASHINGTON, D.C.  — Since taking office, President Donald Trump has taken an often times hostile and combative stance toward China. The alleged-billionaire has accused China of currency manipulation in the past in an attempt to weaken the U.S. economy and siphon jobs out of our country into theirs. Trump has been locked in a trade… Continue reading Trump Accuses China Of Being A Chinese Hoax

Trump Confident Putin Won’t Lose to Anyone on Democratic Debate Stage

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Speaking to reporters on the south lawn of the White House on his way out to big up a deep fried hot dog and liverwurst sandwich, President Donald Trump told the press he watched the first night of Democratic primary debates last night. Mr. Trump offered his usual brand of tranchant erudition… Continue reading Trump Confident Putin Won’t Lose to Anyone on Democratic Debate Stage

MAGA Boy Outraged No Democrat Screamed About Mexicans or Mentioned Which of Their Children They’d Bang During Debate

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins is a devout “MAGA Boy,” as he calls himself. “That’s like a good ol’ boy except, you know, MAGA instead of good,” Jethro once explained to his audience. “That means I defend MAGA every chance I get. I will interrupt two libtards in the… Continue reading MAGA Boy Outraged No Democrat Screamed About Mexicans or Mentioned Which of Their Children They’d Bang During Debate

Trump Campaign to Hold Amazon Kindle Burning

WASHINGTON, D.C.  — The President Trump re-election campaign has announced that they will be holding a bonfire in the Detroit area this evening. The bonfire coincides with a major effort from the  Trump campaign to deliver Michigan’s Electoral College votes to the alleged billionaire’s coffer next year. The fuel for the bonfire will be Amazon… Continue reading Trump Campaign to Hold Amazon Kindle Burning

“I’m Tired of These Baseless Smears on My Patriotism” McConnell Says Drenched in Putin’s Jizz

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A cum soaked Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-The Kremlin) told the American people he’s “sick and tired” of what he calls “baseless smears” and attacks on his “patriotism,” and he’s ready to pull out of the lump of coal he’s been fucking for the last 20 years and fight them. “These… Continue reading “I’m Tired of These Baseless Smears on My Patriotism” McConnell Says Drenched in Putin’s Jizz

Barack Obama Endorses Donald Trump for President

SHARIA VOODOO LABORATORY, SOROS BUNKER #1 — In a truly unforeseen turn of events, former President Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) shocked the press, his country, and the entire world by endorsing Donald J. Trump’s re-election bid in next year’s election. According to President Obama, it’s the dogmatic sycophancy of his political adversaries that pushed his… Continue reading Barack Obama Endorses Donald Trump for President

Trump Was ‘On the Way’ to Help First Responders on 9/11, But Decided to Let Someone Else ‘Hog All the Glory’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today, President Donald Trump signed permanent funding for 9/11 first responders into law. The effort to secure a never-ending source of money to pay for the medical costs for those who risked life and limb to respond to the deadly September 11th, 2001 attacks on the United States was not an easy… Continue reading Trump Was ‘On the Way’ to Help First Responders on 9/11, But Decided to Let Someone Else ‘Hog All the Glory’

Baltimore Rat Feels Right at Home Visiting White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A rat from Baltimore has been in the nation’s capital for the last few days, visiting friends and family. During his visit, Whitmire the Rat decided he wanted to take a “once in a lifetime opportunity” and visit one of the most historic places in the entire country. So, he booked himself… Continue reading Baltimore Rat Feels Right at Home Visiting White House

Hannity Tells Radio Audience He Really Hopes Trump Isn’t A ‘One Term Führer’

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — On his radio show this week Sean Hannity, conservative firebrand and loyal Donald Trump supporter, had a slip of the tongue while discussing what he believed would happen during the first of the alleged billionaire’s presidential terms. While ranting to his audience about how he believed the “lame-stream media” would… Continue reading Hannity Tells Radio Audience He Really Hopes Trump Isn’t A ‘One Term Führer’