He Would Rather Be Homeless in California Than Live in Alabama

LOS CONSERVATIVOS CHINGANDOS, CALIFORNIA — This morning, a day after Christmas, impeached President Donald J. Trump lashed out at Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, the State of California, and its governor Gavin Newsom. Trump is understandably in a state of triggered rage at Pelosi, given that she successfully managed to get two articles of… Continue reading He Would Rather Be Homeless in California Than Live in Alabama

Study Confirms 100% of Abortions Still None of Your Fucking Business

Several red states are in various stages of implementing sweeping abortion bans aimed squarely at eventually toppling the 1973 landmark¬†Roe vs. Wade¬†Supreme Court decision that affirmed the right of all women in the country to terminate their pregnancy before the point of medical viability for the fetus, or fetuses. Laws in Alabama, Missouri, Ohio, and… Continue reading Study Confirms 100% of Abortions Still None of Your Fucking Business

TIME Promises Trump They’ll Name Him “Obnoxious, Petty, Self-Aggrandizing C_ _t of the Year” in 2020

This morning, the world’s most most powerful petty and jealous man in the free world used the enormous weight of his office, the highest office in the country, to attack a 16 year old climate activist on Twitter. The 16 year old’s offense? Winning TIME Magazine’s “Person of the Year” award for 2019. During a… Continue reading TIME Promises Trump They’ll Name Him “Obnoxious, Petty, Self-Aggrandizing C_ _t of the Year” in 2020

Study Confirms Stephen Miller is an Ugly, Racist, Balding Cunt

A new study from the National Institute of Studying Really Obvious Stuff (NISROS), published today in the New American Journal of Published Studies claims to prove “beyond any reasonable doubt or suspicion to the contrary,” that White House Senior Ethnic Cleansing Adviser Stephen Miller is an ugly, racist, balding cunt. Speaking to reporters at a… Continue reading Study Confirms Stephen Miller is an Ugly, Racist, Balding Cunt

Trump Orders Additional “K” Added To Hanukkah to “Make Jew Christmas Great Again”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today, in an Oval Office signing ceremony attended by American Christian luminaries like David Duke and the Westboro Baptist Church, President Donald Trump ordered the word Hanukkah to be given one more additional “K.” According to sources close to Trump, who spoke to the media on condition of anonymity and Chick-Fil-A gift… Continue reading Trump Orders Additional “K” Added To Hanukkah to “Make Jew Christmas Great Again”

McConnell Promises to Hold Impeachment Trial in Moscow

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said today that “in the interest of fairness and logic” he’s going to file a change of venue request and hold the impeachment trial of President Donald J. Trump in Moscow, Russia. In a marathon session of the House of Representatives, two articles of impeachment against President… Continue reading McConnell Promises to Hold Impeachment Trial in Moscow

Barack Obama and Merrick Garland Not Buying Mitch McConnell’s Bullshit

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former President Barack Obama and Federal Judge Merrick Garland have released a statement, following Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s speech on the Senate floor, decrying the impeachment of President Donald Trump. Senator McConnell, in a long-winded speech, heavily criticized the House Democrats, under the leadership of Speaker Nancy Pelosi, for what he… Continue reading Barack Obama and Merrick Garland Not Buying Mitch McConnell’s Bullshit

Collins: “Unlike Benghazi, Obama’s Birth Certificate, and The Tan Suit, This Impeachment Is Purely Partisan Nonsense”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rep. Doug Collins (R-Trump’s Rectal Cavity) told reporters on the Hill today that in his view House Democrats are impeaching President Donald J. Trump in the “most partisan crusade ever perpetrated on a president.” “You know what really scares me, folks? It’s how gosh-darn-doohickey-hecking partisan it has been from day one,” Collins… Continue reading Collins: “Unlike Benghazi, Obama’s Birth Certificate, and The Tan Suit, This Impeachment Is Purely Partisan Nonsense”

Ken Starr and Newt Gingrich Issue Scathing Rebuke of ‘Brazen, Blowie-Free’ Impeachment of Donald Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today, President Donald J. Trump became the third American man ever impeached by the House of Representatives. Two articles of impeachment — one alleging he abused his power and another that he willfully obstructed the constitutional authority of the Congress to investigate his administration — passed on a largely party line vote… Continue reading Ken Starr and Newt Gingrich Issue Scathing Rebuke of ‘Brazen, Blowie-Free’ Impeachment of Donald Trump

4 Reasons This Chonky White Collar Criminal Wants You To Think He’s Above the Law. #4 Will Blow Your Mind.

This adorable little racist sack of shit wants you, and every other American to think he’s above the law. Not only is he constantly trying to position himself into a place of authority that puts his adorably fat, xenophobic self out of accountability’s grasp, he has dozens of surrogates who use the power of mass… Continue reading 4 Reasons This Chonky White Collar Criminal Wants You To Think He’s Above the Law. #4 Will Blow Your Mind.