Trump Left Behind Unpaid $1 Million McDonald’s Tab for Biden Administration

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Presidential transitions take time, and as such, it can be months into a new administration when the public is made aware of something the last one did, or in some case did not, do. One such incident was just reported by several outlets. Reportedly, the Donald Trump presidential administration left a rather… Continue reading Trump Left Behind Unpaid $1 Million McDonald’s Tab for Biden Administration

Musk Asked SNL to Bring on Babylon Bee Writers So Show Can Be One, Never-Ending Gender Identification Joke

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — If billionaires are known for anything, it’s their natural charm, charisma, and comedic timing. Hence, it makes complete sense why the producers of Saturday Night Live would skip over actual comedians and performers to ask Elon Musk to host this weekend’s episode. Apparently, after accepting the gig, Musk asked SNL producer Lorne… Continue reading Musk Asked SNL to Bring on Babylon Bee Writers So Show Can Be One, Never-Ending Gender Identification Joke

Matt Gaetz Can’t Believe Q Didn’t Tell Him Matt Gaetz is a Sex Trafficker

WHORELAND-O, FLORIDA — Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) may or may not have very much time left on his political career. Gaetz announced shortly before the news about being investigated by the FBI for crimes relating to paying for sex, potentially with at least one underage minor girl, that he would be leaving Congress early to… Continue reading Matt Gaetz Can’t Believe Q Didn’t Tell Him Matt Gaetz is a Sex Trafficker

Trump Tells Maria Bartiromo He Still Hasn’t Accepted Results of Election or Insurrection

In a new interview with Fox News host Maria Bartiromo, former President Donald John Mushroom Sized Dong Trump said he still has yet to reconcile with the fact that he lost the election and an attempted coup. Trump, by phone, told Bartiromo that he’s been feeling “lost and a little unsure” of himself since he… Continue reading Trump Tells Maria Bartiromo He Still Hasn’t Accepted Results of Election or Insurrection

Ted Cruz Fell Asleep During Biden’s Speech and Had a Nightmare That People Actually Like Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. — During President Joe Biden’s first joint address to Congress last night, nobody expected elected Republicans to like much of what the president had to say. Since taking office after refusing to accept the results of former President Trump’s attempt coup, Republicans have been more and more combative with Biden. What nobody might… Continue reading Ted Cruz Fell Asleep During Biden’s Speech and Had a Nightmare That People Actually Like Him

Son Called CPS Because Parents Were Watching Tucker Carlson

This week, sister publication The Political Garbage Chute reported on quite a noteworthy event. In a small Georgia town, a boy called Child Protective Services. This in and of itself might not be something a news outlet as famous, prestigious, and trustworthy as PGC would publish a story about; however, the reasoning behind the kid’s decision to turn his… Continue reading Son Called CPS Because Parents Were Watching Tucker Carlson

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Crack Dealer Endorses Randy Quaid in Newsom Recall

LAKE AMPHETAMINE, GEORGIA — Bill “Peach Dick” Kusinphuchre is known in his part of rural Georgia as the “Crack Dealer to the Stars.” Mainly, that’s because for the last several years, he has been the exclusive crack provider to freshman Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA).  Because of this connection to Ms. Greene,  Peach Dick has… Continue reading Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Crack Dealer Endorses Randy Quaid in Newsom Recall

Simon & Schuster Says Fact-Checked Kellyanne Conway Memoir Fits on Four Pages

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Former White House Senior Bullshit Adviser Kellyanne Conway has written a memoir about her time in the Donald Trump administration, and publisher Simon & Schuster will be printing and selling copies. In a new press release to generate buzz for Conway’s recounting of her time in one of the most… Continue reading Simon & Schuster Says Fact-Checked Kellyanne Conway Memoir Fits on Four Pages

Dr. Joe Rogan, M.D. Leaving Harvard Medical School to Host “Fear Factor” Reboot

FORT SHITTFERBRAYNS, TEXAS — A lot of Americans might not know that there are more than one Harvard Medical School, and they could be forgiven if they only know about the most famous one in Boston. However, in the mid-1990’s, alleged billionaire and future pretend-President Donald J. Trump trademarked, incorporated, and franchised a string of… Continue reading Dr. Joe Rogan, M.D. Leaving Harvard Medical School to Host “Fear Factor” Reboot

He Owns the Libs by Refusing to Wear a Seatbelt or Get Covid Vaccine

“It just makes me feel good to do dumb shit to trigger people smarter than me.” LAKE STUPID, FLORIDA — In a new op-ed featured on the website American Delusions of Greatness, local idiot Pete D’Ooshbagg declared “war on hysterical liberal tyranny” and said he will never again wear a seatbelt. Mr. D’Ooshbagg also triumphantly proclaimed that… Continue reading He Owns the Libs by Refusing to Wear a Seatbelt or Get Covid Vaccine