Manchin So Mad Republicans Blocked the Jan 6th Commission He’s About Do Absolutely Nothing About It

WASHINGTON, D.C. — To put it bluntly, Senator Joe Manchin (R Pretending to Be D-WV) is pissed. Buzz on the Hill is that immediately after it became clear that Senate Republicans were going to filibuster the formation of the January 6th Commission — bipartisan effort crafted by both sides of the aisle in the House — Manchin… Continue reading Manchin So Mad Republicans Blocked the Jan 6th Commission He’s About Do Absolutely Nothing About It

ISIS Agrees With Matt Gaetz: Murdering Americans is Okay

Last night at a rally in Georgia with fellow Republican Congresswoman and Qu Qlux Qlan co-founder Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz implied that angry conservative Americans should take up arms against social media companies for being mean to Donald Trump, who is no longer president because he lost the election and insurrection. During his… Continue reading ISIS Agrees With Matt Gaetz: Murdering Americans is Okay

Gaetz and Greene Form Qu Qlux Qlan

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) and Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) have been holding “America First” rallies in the past couple of weeks, trying to yoke the MAGA movement and coalesce it around themselves, ahead of the 2022 mid-terms. Both Gaetz and Greene are fervent, ardent defenders of former President Donald Trump and… Continue reading Gaetz and Greene Form Qu Qlux Qlan

Trump Confident He Could Run the Country From Rikers Island

FART-A-LOT-GO, FLORIDA — If he had to, former one-term, twice-impeached President Donald J. Trump is confident he could perform his old job duties from within Riker’s Island prison. Speaking to radio host and Unevolved Moron Monthly’s Cro-Magnon of the Year for 2020 Dan Bongino, the former president said that he doesn’t think the multiple criminal… Continue reading Trump Confident He Could Run the Country From Rikers Island

Flashback: Al Qaeda Votes to Block Formation of 9/11 Commission

As Senate Republicans inch closer to blocking the formation of the January 6th Commission — a bipartisan effort out of the House to investigate the causes and context of the pro-Trump insurrection on that day four months ago, some might feel a sense of outrage at what could be seen as an unprecedented effort to… Continue reading Flashback: Al Qaeda Votes to Block Formation of 9/11 Commission

Marjorie Greene Cast in New Biopic About Seattle Slew

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA — Whether or not her political career ends up being anything more than a series of publicity stunts designed to troll progressives, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) might just be able to transition to a job that would keep her in the spotlight. Depending on how her first acting gig goes, Greene could… Continue reading Marjorie Greene Cast in New Biopic About Seattle Slew

Gaetz Leaving Congress to Become Dean of Emissions at Liberty University

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Embattled Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) has decided it’s time to end his political career, according to several sources with knowledge of his future plans. Gaetz will soon resign his House seat and work in the private sector, becoming the Dean of Emissions at Liberty University. “Matt has always been a champion of,… Continue reading Gaetz Leaving Congress to Become Dean of Emissions at Liberty University

Greene Says She’ll Have Q-Anon Tattoos Removed Via Secret Space Laser

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) divulged to reporters today that she has “a handful of Q-Anon tattoos,” which she had done prior to being elected to the House of Representatives. Greene also said, however, that by the end of the year, she plans to have those tattoos removed. Rep. Greene explained that… Continue reading Greene Says She’ll Have Q-Anon Tattoos Removed Via Secret Space Laser

Poll: 53% of Republicans Believe Ivanka Trump Is Actual First Lady

The results of a recently published Reuters/Ipsos poll could possibly provide insight as to how far politicians seeking to mint themselves as “bipartisan” would have to reach across the aisle to please the other party’s voters. According to the poll, 53% of Republicans still believe, more than six months after the election, and more than… Continue reading Poll: 53% of Republicans Believe Ivanka Trump Is Actual First Lady

Report: Biden Open to Adding Four Supreme Court Seats to Bench

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though he publicly continues to dodge the question and play coy, sources within the White House are telling media outlets that President Joe Biden is very interested in expanding the size of the Supreme Court, has already thought of a number of justices he’d like to add, and even has his first… Continue reading Report: Biden Open to Adding Four Supreme Court Seats to Bench