Manchin: “West Virginia Kids Told Me They Want to Breathe Dirty Air in a Broke, Disgusting State”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite polling data that shows voters in his state support it by almost a 40% margin, Sen. Joe Manchin (D?) doesn’t think the people of West Virginia want him to vote for President Biden’s Build Back Better agenda. While many experts believe that the funds in the Build Back Better legislation could… Continue reading Manchin: “West Virginia Kids Told Me They Want to Breathe Dirty Air in a Broke, Disgusting State”

Pro-Life Republican Can’t Wait to Get His Picture Taken With Double Murderer

SHITDICK FLATS, ILLINOIS — 42 year old non-union, out of work carpenter Marcus Palumbozo uses three terms to describe his views and opinions. “Pro-life, Pro-God, Anti-Commie. That’s it. You could boil down my entire essence into those three things, no doubt about it,” Mr. Palumbozo told us during a recent Skype interview. Sen. Warren Proposes… Continue reading Pro-Life Republican Can’t Wait to Get His Picture Taken With Double Murderer

Brave, Maskless Patriot Would Rather Be Arrested Than Leave McDonald’s Without His McNuggets

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — At the time of publication, right-wing podcaster and self-described “Mega MAGA Patriot” Jethro Bohiggins is still in a tense, armed standoff with local authorities and employees at the McDonald’s just a few blocks from his double-wide. “Just about two hours ago, we received an urgent call to our 9-11 line,… Continue reading Brave, Maskless Patriot Would Rather Be Arrested Than Leave McDonald’s Without His McNuggets

Judge: Trump Must Give Congress All His McDonald’s Receipts From January 6th, 2021

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former President Don Trump just keeps getting bad news from the courts this week. First, a federal judge, who he helped get appointed, told Trump’s legal team they were “wrong on the law” and ordered him to turn his taxes over to Congress. Then, today another federal judge slapped him with another… Continue reading Judge: Trump Must Give Congress All His McDonald’s Receipts From January 6th, 2021

Melania Trump’s Husband Only Interested in Ivanka’s NFT

Today, former Third First Lady Melania Trump announced that she was entering the world of NFTs. Mrs. Trump’s NFT will feature watercolor paintings of her “cobalt” eyes.¬†As excited as Melania might be about her new venture, there’s one man we know for a fact won’t be in the market to buy it — her husband.… Continue reading Melania Trump’s Husband Only Interested in Ivanka’s NFT

DeSantis Orders Critical Race Theory Detectors Installed on Every Florida Campus

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH — Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q) is on a crusade to eliminate Critical Race Theory from his state’s classrooms, even if it’s not part of any public school curriculum. He’s already introduced a bill similar to Texas’ abortion law that would authorize parents to sue teachers and school districts if they catch Critical Race… Continue reading DeSantis Orders Critical Race Theory Detectors Installed on Every Florida Campus

Sen. Warren Proposes 80% ‘Billionaire Twatwaffle Tax’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) unveiled legislation that would institute a new 80% tax on all all wealth accumulated by, as Warren describes them, “billionaire twatwaffles.” “Not trying to single any one, singular billionaire twatwaffle out or anything. I’m just saying that if you have billions of dollars, your companies get… Continue reading Sen. Warren Proposes 80% ‘Billionaire Twatwaffle Tax’

Remembering When Obama’s Chief of Staff Was Held in Criminal Contempt of Congress

In American history, Real Patriots know one thing — only Democrats are corrupt. Perhaps, actually, they know two things — only Democrats are corrupt, and only Democratic Presidents have scandals. So while many in America are howling and trolling Republicans about former Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows being referred by the House to the… Continue reading Remembering When Obama’s Chief of Staff Was Held in Criminal Contempt of Congress

Selected Excerpts from Mark Meadows’ January 6th Text Messages

Just how much the buzz about former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows’ text messages from January 6th are getting outside the beltway isn’t quite sure at this time. However, on the Hill, it’s all anyone can talk about, and perhaps with good reason. It’s not every day that someone within a presidential administration… Continue reading Selected Excerpts from Mark Meadows’ January 6th Text Messages

Meadows Said National Guard Would ‘Protect Pro-Toothless Incestuous Racism People’ on Jan. 6

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Texts and emails turned over to the January 6th Congressional Committee by former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows indicate that he made certain assurances to people within his former boss’s administration before an attempted coup on behalf of his former boss was carried out. In the messages, former Congresbirther Meadows… Continue reading Meadows Said National Guard Would ‘Protect Pro-Toothless Incestuous Racism People’ on Jan. 6