Poll: Majority Support Spending $6 Billion to Yeet Elon Musk to Pluto

Billionaire Elon Musk — who reportedly is on track to become the world’s very first trillionaire — isn’t quite sure that a $6 billion donation would wipeout world hunger. In a sarcastic Twitter exchange, Musk offered to give that exact sum to the World Hunger Programme, but only if they could prove his funds would completely end world hunger.

Regardless of how that situation plays itself out, some interesting new polling has shown that, worldwide, a majority of human beings would gladly spend $6 billion to “yeet” Mr. Musk, who is currently funding a vanity space exploration company with help from taxpayer subsidies, to Pluto. The polling data doesn’t indicate one way or the other if people still consider Pluto a planet. However, it does indicate billions of people want Musk as far away from them as possible.

META NAZIS HAVE ALREADY META INFESTED FACEBOOK’S NEWLY REBRANDED “META”

The poll, conducted by We Poll You So Hard, shows that 54% of human beings surveyed would “willingly and happily contribute financially” to a special fund, set up to reach a goal of $6 billion. That money would then be used to build a catapult capable of hurtling Musk deep into the solar system, as close to Pluto as it could fire him. However, even if respondents didn’t want to give their own money to the cause, another 40% wanted to simply strap him to the next rocket SpaceX, his space flight company, sends to space, as long as it’s a one-way trip.

In response to the poll, Mr. Musk has said he’s looking into buying We Poll You So Hard just so he can delete the company’s database of polling data.

TRUMP PROMISES WINDMILL CANCER VACCINE IF HE GETS SECOND TERM, BUT WILL NOT MANDATE IT

Become a Patron!

Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.


 

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.