In 2017, Trump Spent $750 in Taxes, and $750,000 in Big Macs

This weekend,¬†The Failing Any Minute Now, We Promise, They Really ARE Failing New York Times¬†published what in many circles is being called a “bombshell” report on President Donald Trump‘s tax returns. The report indicates that in 2016 and 2017, President Trump paid just $750 in taxes respectively, and contains several facts about Trump’s business empire… Continue reading In 2017, Trump Spent $750 in Taxes, and $750,000 in Big Macs

Eric Trump Slashes All the Goodyear Tires on Daddy’s Presidential Limo

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Authorities at this hour are confirming that all four tires on the presidential limo that shuttles President Donald Trump to and from various locations within the nation’s capital have been slashed. Despite this act of vandalism, the Secret Service and FBI have concluded, after consulting with the White House, not to press… Continue reading Eric Trump Slashes All the Goodyear Tires on Daddy’s Presidential Limo

President Trump Worried Extended Coronavirus Lockdowns Might Cause Burrito Covering Shortages

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s no big secret on the Hill that the president enjoys his now daily coronavirus task force press briefings. Recently removed Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham spent months in that role after Sarah Huckabee Sanders left the post to stare into the sunset from the top of her favorite belfry, and she never… Continue reading President Trump Worried Extended Coronavirus Lockdowns Might Cause Burrito Covering Shortages

Kellyanne Conway: “The Trump Economy Can Easily Handle 6.6 Million Americans Filing for Alternative Employment”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, President Donald Trump tried to brace the nation for what he and his coronavirus response task force believe will be a devastating next few weeks for the number of newly reported infections, and, unfortunately, a rising daily death toll from COVID-19. Despite repeated warnings starting as early as January of this… Continue reading Kellyanne Conway: “The Trump Economy Can Easily Handle 6.6 Million Americans Filing for Alternative Employment”

Treasury Department Announces Senior Jobs Program for Economic Recovery From Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Treasury Department has started a new pilot jobs program geared toward seniors, and they’re hoping it inspires “grandmas and grandpas to do the right thing” and “lay down their lives to keep the president’s economy buzzing.” At a press conference, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin gave reporters the basic details of… Continue reading Treasury Department Announces Senior Jobs Program for Economic Recovery From Coronavirus

Trump Boys All Set To Go Bear Hunting on Trip to New York Stock Exchange

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — “We’re goin’ on a bear hunt, Daddy,” Eric Trump shouted into the phone in his hand, the excitement exploding from his voice. On the other end of the line, President Donald J. Trump was in the middle of executive time, but had decided to take the call from his middle… Continue reading Trump Boys All Set To Go Bear Hunting on Trip to New York Stock Exchange

Russian Prostitute Takes Credit For Giving Trump Idea For Trickle Down Tax Plan

MOSCOW, RUSSIA — Today, President Donald Trump signed a massive tax cut into law. The tax overhaul is expected to bring modest savings to middle class families in cuts that will phase out over a ten year period, while corporate tax rates will be permanently slashed. Independent analysis shows this tax plan will likely blow… Continue reading Russian Prostitute Takes Credit For Giving Trump Idea For Trickle Down Tax Plan