Son Called CPS Because Parents Were Watching Tucker Carlson

This week, sister publication The Political Garbage Chute reported on quite a noteworthy event. In a small Georgia town, a boy called Child Protective Services. This in and of itself might not be something a news outlet as famous, prestigious, and trustworthy as PGC would publish a story about; however, the reasoning behind the kid’s decision to turn his… Continue reading Son Called CPS Because Parents Were Watching Tucker Carlson

Burnett and Trump Teaming Up Again on “The Apprentice: Outhouse”

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA — Before he was the most powerful man in the free world, President Donald Trump was a reality-TV star.  Some might find it shocking and quite surprising that none of the preceding 44 men to hold the office were on reality-TV shows, however historians have confirmed it a handful of times. There is… Continue reading Burnett and Trump Teaming Up Again on “The Apprentice: Outhouse”

Lahren: “Mermaids Are White, Just Like Santa and Jesus!”

LA CULERA RUBIA ARRUGADA, CALIFORNIA — Fox News contributing racist muppet Timothy Lahren railed against Disney’s decision to cast a female of color in the central role of the upcoming live-action remake of 1989’s animated classic, “The Little Mermaid,” today.  Speaking on a conservative talk radio show, Ms. Limpbiskit told the show’s host she thinks… Continue reading Lahren: “Mermaids Are White, Just Like Santa and Jesus!”

Alabama GOP Demands “Arthur” Air Episode Where He Marries His Sister

BAISEURS DE COUSIN EN ARRIÉRE PARISH, ALABAMA — On May 13th, 2019, PBS aired the season premiere of “Arthur,” a long-running children’s animated program based on the books by author Marc Brown. The episode’s plot involved Arthur, the titular aardvark protagonist attending the same-sex wedding of his third grade teacher Mr. Ratburn to a chocolatier… Continue reading Alabama GOP Demands “Arthur” Air Episode Where He Marries His Sister

Fox News Picks Up “Roseanne” For Season 11

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Under considerable pressure from President Donald Trump, Fox News announced this morning it was going to purchase the rights to air “Roseanne” from ABC, and new episodes in the next season will air later this fall. “I have reached out to Rupert personally and asked him to hook Rosie up… Continue reading Fox News Picks Up “Roseanne” For Season 11

NRA, Chick-Fil-A, American Nazi Party Triple Their Sponsorships Of Laura Ingraham’s Show

In the weeks since they survived the horrific mass shooting at their high school, some students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida have come under heavy scrutiny and criticism from some members of the right-wing. At issue is the #NeverAgain movement the students started which spawned the massive, worldwide #MarchForOurLives protests to… Continue reading NRA, Chick-Fil-A, American Nazi Party Triple Their Sponsorships Of Laura Ingraham’s Show

Area Moron Turns Off 24/7 Uranium One Coverage, Explains Why Trump Is Right: Everyone Except Fox News Is Fake

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Right-wing podcaster and his hometown’s favorite moron, Jethro Bohiggins, told his audience this morning that a tweet sent by President Donald Trump earlier in the day was “brilliant and as accurate as everything else he screeches, bellows, snorts, or tweets.” “Fam, I gotta tell you. I hear libtarded hearts breaking… Continue reading Area Moron Turns Off 24/7 Uranium One Coverage, Explains Why Trump Is Right: Everyone Except Fox News Is Fake