Gazpacho Police Announce Massive Counterfeit Oyster Cracker Bust

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Nancy Pelosi’s personal law enforcement squad, the Gazpacho Police, held a press conference today to announce what their chief called the largest bust of its kind in history. “It’s my distinct and great honor to announce that the Gazpacho Police Squad, working hand-in-ladle with the Soros Antifa Corps, seized over six trillion… Continue reading Gazpacho Police Announce Massive Counterfeit Oyster Cracker Bust

President Declares ‘National McMergency’ Because He Runs Out of Chicken Nugget Dipping Sauce

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at approximately 7:45 am a state of national emergency was declared by President Donald Trump, from within the president’s residence. “No! Oh no! Oh my God no! How could this happen? This is too much. No president can be expected to deal… Continue reading President Declares ‘National McMergency’ Because He Runs Out of Chicken Nugget Dipping Sauce

McDonald’s Debuted Their New ‘Big Muck’ Hamberders at Clemson White House Dinner

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the federal government entering its fourth week of historic shutdown status, President Donald Trump could have canceled or postponed hosting the Clemson Tigers college football team, as had been originally planned last night. However, Trump decided to use the moment to try and score some more political points, and he hosted… Continue reading McDonald’s Debuted Their New ‘Big Muck’ Hamberders at Clemson White House Dinner