TX Man Unsure Whether to Let Cousin Die From Complications or Sue Her For Getting Abortion

SHITLIP, TEXAS — Bill Williamson has found himself in some rather unforeseen circumstances before, but he told us during a recent Skype interview that what he’s going through now is “literally Hell on Earth,” and he’s unsure how it will resolve itself. Williamson and his wife, Helen, have been expecting their fourth child together since… Continue reading TX Man Unsure Whether to Let Cousin Die From Complications or Sue Her For Getting Abortion

Trump Reassures First Lady Coronavirus Is Not Sexually Transmitted

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This afternoon, the president held a press event in the White House, touting his administration’s plan to get re-open the American economy. For much of the last two months, massive swaths of America’s economic engine have been forced to sit idle in order to flatten the curve of new COVID-19 infections. With… Continue reading Trump Reassures First Lady Coronavirus Is Not Sexually Transmitted

Mike Pence Orders All Pride Flags Moved From U.S. Embassies and Into His Den of Sin Where They Belong

WASHINGTON, D.C. — June is “Pride Month” in the LGTBQ community, which means it’s a month of celebrations that mark the long march toward legal equality and societal acceptance, as well as honoring those who have protested at great personal peril to achieve those goals. For the last several years, U.S. embassies across the globe… Continue reading Mike Pence Orders All Pride Flags Moved From U.S. Embassies and Into His Den of Sin Where They Belong

After Divorce, Donald Trump Jr. Hopes To Follow In Daddy’s Footsteps

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Rumors have begun swirling that Donald Trump Jr., the President of the United States’ son, is headed toward a divorce with his wife Vanessa. In a story published on Page Six and reported in other outlets, anonymous sources close to the couple say that there are three areas of concern for Mrs. Trump… Continue reading After Divorce, Donald Trump Jr. Hopes To Follow In Daddy’s Footsteps

Trump Supporter Recovering From Honeymoon Groin Injuries After Marrying AR-15

HOBART, ARKANSAS — On the most recent episode of popular right-wing podcast and YouTube channel Biased But In a Non-Biased But Still Really Slanted Way,  Clem O’Connell, the show’s host, told fans that he was recovering from groin injuries he sustained during his honeymoon. O’Connell said that just a few days prior he had been in the… Continue reading Trump Supporter Recovering From Honeymoon Groin Injuries After Marrying AR-15