Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It’s not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the Supreme Court’s conservative majority is poised to help roll back abortion rights in America to a time before Roe Vs Wade, 34 year old Scott Manoot says that he’s been cleaning up after he “spanks it” faster than… Continue reading Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

“Here’s Why Your Uterus Belongs to Those Weird Jesus Freak Neighbors” by Amy Coney Barrett

The following editorial was submitted by Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney OfJesse Barrett. The views and opinions herein are those of Mrs. Barrett’s, provided her husband agreed to let her have views and opinions of her own.  With your husbands’ or fathers’ permission, of course, I’d like to address this open letter to the women… Continue reading “Here’s Why Your Uterus Belongs to Those Weird Jesus Freak Neighbors” by Amy Coney Barrett

Ben Shapiro: “My Wife Told Me Not to Worry If I Can’t Find Her Clitoris, Someone Can”

Ben Shapiro can’t find his wife’s clitoris, and most nights he absolutely refuses to do so. However, according to Mr. Shapiro, his wife is “totally and completely okay” with that. This is all according to the latest episode of Shapiro’s podcast. “You know, I’ve had at least six different smug liberals tell me I shouldn’t… Continue reading Ben Shapiro: “My Wife Told Me Not to Worry If I Can’t Find Her Clitoris, Someone Can”

Taliban Congratulates MAGA on Overturning Roe Vs Wade

Just hours after Politico broke a bombshell story — that the Supreme Court had voted in February to strike down Roe vs Wade — MAGA Americans are being congratulated on their success, though the source of the congratulations might raise a few eyebrows. In a press release sent to various news outlets, the Taliban told MAGA country they should… Continue reading Taliban Congratulates MAGA on Overturning Roe Vs Wade

Jan 6 Committee Wants to Ask Meadows When He Knew Trump Was a Little Bitch Who Can’t Handle Losing

The House committee investigating the failed insurrection of January 6th, 2021 sent letters to former Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows this weekend, signaling their desire to ask him, under oath, about what he knew about his former boss, and when. MORE: Democrats Will Just Debate a Literal Sack of Shit in 2024 The bipartisan… Continue reading Jan 6 Committee Wants to Ask Meadows When He Knew Trump Was a Little Bitch Who Can’t Handle Losing

Cawthorn Says His Stock Tips Come From The Ladies Whose Tits Bear The Cocaine He Snorts

With pressure mounting even from within his own party — such as a sitting U.S. Senator from his home state — to investigate allegations he participated in insider trading, freshman Congressman Madison Cawthorn (Q-NC) denied such allegations. Rep. Cawthorn did not deny, however, that he does get help picking stocks to trade, but said that… Continue reading Cawthorn Says His Stock Tips Come From The Ladies Whose Tits Bear The Cocaine He Snorts

Musk Bought Twitter a Day Ago and My “@AmericasFirstReichPatriot” Account Still Isn’t Active!

Ummmmmmmmmmmm. What the actual, literal, perpetual fuck is going on over at Twitter? Elon Musk’s offer to buy it was accepted more than a day ago, and my old account, which was banned under the previous Leftist Woketopian Twitter Regime, has yet to be reactivated! If @AmericasFirstReichPatriot doesn’t get reinstated by the end of the… Continue reading Musk Bought Twitter a Day Ago and My “@AmericasFirstReichPatriot” Account Still Isn’t Active!

Greene Can’t Recall What She Said She Can’t Recall About What She Said Five Minutes Ago

Last week, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) took the witness stand in the first hearing to determine her eligibility to seek re-election. Greene’s candidacy has been challenged by a group of voters in her own district, on grounds that she participated in an insurrection, which is barred by the Constitution’s 14th Amendment. The first hearing… Continue reading Greene Can’t Recall What She Said She Can’t Recall About What She Said Five Minutes Ago

CNN+’s Failure Proves Liberalism is in Decline, and That’s What I’ll Post on Truth Social

The following editorial was submitted by State Rep. Tom Thompaulsen (Q). Thompaulsen is a Republican elected official from a red state, and the views and opinions expressed herein are those of Rep. Thompaulsen, and only those of Rep. Thompaulsen. They do not necessarily reflect those of this outlet, its ownership, or staff. CNN+ is dead,… Continue reading CNN+’s Failure Proves Liberalism is in Decline, and That’s What I’ll Post on Truth Social

Disney Tells DeSantis They’ll Get Tough on Groomers and Bans Evangelical Christians From Park

In a letter to Gov. Ron DeSantis sent this afternoon via special courier, the Walt Disney Company announced that evangelical Christians are no longer welcome at Disney World, at least while DeSantis is governor. MORE: Of Course I Believe a Billionaire Wants to Protect My Freedom of Speech. I’m a Fucking Moron. The letter from… Continue reading Disney Tells DeSantis They’ll Get Tough on Groomers and Bans Evangelical Christians From Park