Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It’s not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the Supreme Court’s conservative majority is poised to help roll back abortion rights in America to a time before Roe Vs Wade, 34 year old Scott Manoot says that he’s been cleaning up after he “spanks it” faster than… Continue reading Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

“Here’s Why Your Uterus Belongs to Those Weird Jesus Freak Neighbors” by Amy Coney Barrett

The following editorial was submitted by Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney OfJesse Barrett. The views and opinions herein are those of Mrs. Barrett’s, provided her husband agreed to let her have views and opinions of her own.  With your husbands’ or fathers’ permission, of course, I’d like to address this open letter to the women… Continue reading “Here’s Why Your Uterus Belongs to Those Weird Jesus Freak Neighbors” by Amy Coney Barrett

Taliban Congratulates MAGA on Overturning Roe Vs Wade

Just hours after Politico broke a bombshell story — that the Supreme Court had voted in February to strike down Roe vs Wade — MAGA Americans are being congratulated on their success, though the source of the congratulations might raise a few eyebrows. In a press release sent to various news outlets, the Taliban told MAGA country they should… Continue reading Taliban Congratulates MAGA on Overturning Roe Vs Wade

Pro-Life Republican Can’t Wait to Get His Picture Taken With Double Murderer

SHITDICK FLATS, ILLINOIS — 42 year old non-union, out of work carpenter Marcus Palumbozo uses three terms to describe his views and opinions. “Pro-life, Pro-God, Anti-Commie. That’s it. You could boil down my entire essence into those three things, no doubt about it,” Mr. Palumbozo told us during a recent Skype interview. Sen. Warren Proposes… Continue reading Pro-Life Republican Can’t Wait to Get His Picture Taken With Double Murderer

Sexual Predator Poised to Give Rapists More Parental Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, one of America’s most famous and successful sexual predators, finds himself in quite a unique position. Should he decide to do so, Kavanaugh can help the other five conservative justices on the high court gut Roe vs. Wade and enable states to write laws that ban abortion, without exceptions… Continue reading Sexual Predator Poised to Give Rapists More Parental Rights

Justice Barrett Will Let Her Husband Decide Her Vote on Mississippi Abortion Law

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s unclear whether it was her intention to do so, but Supreme Court Justice Amy Covid Barrett just gave the American public an unprecedented preview of how she intends to decide the case of Mississippi’s abortion law. Or rather, how she intends to let her husband decide for her. In  Dobbs v.… Continue reading Justice Barrett Will Let Her Husband Decide Her Vote on Mississippi Abortion Law

Oklahoma Man Extradited to Texas After Being Caught Spanking It in Dallas

GILEAD COUNTY, TEXAS — Officials with the Texas State Sex Fluid and Biomatter Protection Agency are reporting this morning that they have 35-year-old Fred Franklin in custody. Franklin had been wanted in connection to an alleged attempted genocide of millions of potential humans. Complicating matters, Franklin is not a resident of Texas, and lives in… Continue reading Oklahoma Man Extradited to Texas After Being Caught Spanking It in Dallas

Cruz Reminds Constituents That The ‘Back Door Means No Babies and No Abortions’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The American right-wing, particularly those in Evangelical circles, have been pushing make abortion illegal for decades. Ever since the Supreme Court ruled in the early 1970’s that before a fetus’ medical viability a woman had a legal right to terminate her pregnancy, socially conservative political activists have been chipping away at that… Continue reading Cruz Reminds Constituents That The ‘Back Door Means No Babies and No Abortions’

Texas Celebrates Its First Ever Forced Labor Day Weekend

AUSTIN, TEXASS — All over America this weekend, people will be celebrating the achievements and advancements in human society made by the labor movement. While some whose politics fall on the right side of the spectrum may only choose to use it an excuse to grill meats and drink beers, the truth is that Labor… Continue reading Texas Celebrates Its First Ever Forced Labor Day Weekend

Texas Man Faces Attempted Murder Charges for Finishing on His Cousin’s Stomach

GILEAD COUNTY, TEXAS — If he had known its true, full implications, then 36 year old Matthew Palumricci would never, ever have supported the new six-week abortion ban that passed in his state. That’s what he told us from his jail cell, awaiting arraignment on charges of attempted murder stemming from a moment of inflamed… Continue reading Texas Man Faces Attempted Murder Charges for Finishing on His Cousin’s Stomach