Democrats Will Just Debate a Literal Sack of Shit in 2024

This week, the Republican National Committee officially ended its relationship with the commission that has run presidential debates for decades. Perhaps to the surprise of few who have paid attention to the right’s complaints about presidential debates for quite some time, the RNC voted unanimously to no longer participate in events hosted by the Commission… Continue reading Democrats Will Just Debate a Literal Sack of Shit in 2024

NY Attorney General Explains Why She’s Not Forcing The Obamas to Sit For Deposition

This week, a New York Supreme Court judge ruled that former President Donald J. Trump and two of his spawn must sit down for deposition, under oath, with the New York Attorney General’s office. The order stipulates that the Trump family has twenty-one days to comply. Biden Gave January 6th Committee Thousands of Nude Images… Continue reading NY Attorney General Explains Why She’s Not Forcing The Obamas to Sit For Deposition

Biden Gave January 6th Committee Thousands of Nude Images of Ivanka Left Behind By Trump

This week, President Joe Biden denied his predecessor’s request to extend executive privilege over documents related to the failed insurrection of January 6th, 2021. While not surprising, Biden’s decision to hand over communications to and from former, one term, twice permanently impeached President Donny Trump signaled that the troubles could just be starting for the… Continue reading Biden Gave January 6th Committee Thousands of Nude Images of Ivanka Left Behind By Trump

Bill Clinton’s MasterClass Will Teach “Fingering the Right Person for the Job”

Last month, online adult education provider Masterclass announced that it had struck deals with two married and famous former politicians, who will each instruct their own classes on the site. Those who take former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s class will get lessons on diplomacy, while students enrolling in former President Bill Clinton’s “Masterclass” will… Continue reading Bill Clinton’s MasterClass Will Teach “Fingering the Right Person for the Job”

Sen. Warren Proposes 80% ‘Billionaire Twatwaffle Tax’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) unveiled legislation that would institute a new 80% tax on all all wealth accumulated by, as Warren describes them, “billionaire twatwaffles.” “Not trying to single any one, singular billionaire twatwaffle out or anything. I’m just saying that if you have billions of dollars, your companies get… Continue reading Sen. Warren Proposes 80% ‘Billionaire Twatwaffle Tax’

Data Indicates Brandon Gets Shit Done and Trump Didn’t Do Shit

Newly released data from the National Institute of Looking Into This Sorta Thing doesn’t have much good news for a certain twice-forever impeached president who never won the popular vote and only got one term. According to a report published this week by the NILITST, President Brandon “gets shit done” while the data also strongly… Continue reading Data Indicates Brandon Gets Shit Done and Trump Didn’t Do Shit

Manchin: “If Rubbing Coal on My Balls Isn’t Doing Enough for Climate Change, That’s On You”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a defeat for his party in Virginia, and with another potential loss still in the offing over in New Jersey, alleged Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin is still not committed to passing more of President Joe Biden’s “Build Back Better” agenda. In particular, Manchin remains steadfastly against any large increases in spending… Continue reading Manchin: “If Rubbing Coal on My Balls Isn’t Doing Enough for Climate Change, That’s On You”

Senator Coalfarts McFuckface Doesn’t Want Infrastructure Plan to Pay for Clean Air or Water

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats on the Hill all seem to know the stakes. Time is running out before next year’s mid-terms, and if the scores of breathless op-eds written on the subject are to be believed, they could lose control of both chambers of Congress. This means that passing President Joe Biden’s aggressively progressive agenda… Continue reading Senator Coalfarts McFuckface Doesn’t Want Infrastructure Plan to Pay for Clean Air or Water

Republicans Race to Defend One of Their Own After Bathroom Confrontation

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional Republicans have begun to close ranks and circle the wagons in defense of one of their strongest allies — Democratic Senator Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona. On Twitter, insurrectionist, pro-MAGA Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) blasted conservative CNN commentator Ana Navarro for pointing out that Sinema was confronted in the restroom of the… Continue reading Republicans Race to Defend One of Their Own After Bathroom Confrontation

Basic White Woman Not Sure She Should Care If People of Color Can Vote

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Kyrsten Sinema (D?-AZ) is the current chair of the Senate Basic White Woman Caucus. Comprised of women who are white, and extremely basic in their whiteness, the SBWWC’s charter states it is “devoted to pretending to looking like we care about non-white people” and “preserving every basic white woman’s right to… Continue reading Basic White Woman Not Sure She Should Care If People of Color Can Vote