Study of Mitch McConnell’s DNA Might Prove Existence of Racist Sperm

The National Research Labs of America published results of a new study this week that could, after peer review, disprove one of the longest held notions about the phenomenon of human racism. Dr. Benson Hornaydieux, Chief Executive Officer and lead researcher for the NRLA addressed the report’s published findings during a recent virtual announcement, held… Continue reading Study of Mitch McConnell’s DNA Might Prove Existence of Racist Sperm

Ted Cruz Asks Jackson Why She Helped George Soros Create CRT And If Benghazi Was Involved

Things once more got extremely heated today when Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) questioned Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson during her confirmation hearing in the Senate Judiciary Committee. This time, Cruz was insistent that Judge Jackson “simply must be in cahoots” with billionaire George Soros, and that the two of them conspired to create Critical… Continue reading Ted Cruz Asks Jackson Why She Helped George Soros Create CRT And If Benghazi Was Involved

Manchin: “If Rubbing Coal on My Balls Isn’t Doing Enough for Climate Change, That’s On You”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a defeat for his party in Virginia, and with another potential loss still in the offing over in New Jersey, alleged Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin is still not committed to passing more of President Joe Biden’s “Build Back Better” agenda. In particular, Manchin remains steadfastly against any large increases in spending… Continue reading Manchin: “If Rubbing Coal on My Balls Isn’t Doing Enough for Climate Change, That’s On You”

Republicans Race to Defend One of Their Own After Bathroom Confrontation

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional Republicans have begun to close ranks and circle the wagons in defense of one of their strongest allies — Democratic Senator Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona. On Twitter, insurrectionist, pro-MAGA Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) blasted conservative CNN commentator Ana Navarro for pointing out that Sinema was confronted in the restroom of the… Continue reading Republicans Race to Defend One of Their Own After Bathroom Confrontation

Cruz Reminds Constituents That The ‘Back Door Means No Babies and No Abortions’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The American right-wing, particularly those in Evangelical circles, have been pushing make abortion illegal for decades. Ever since the Supreme Court ruled in the early 1970’s that before a fetus’ medical viability a woman had a legal right to terminate her pregnancy, socially conservative political activists have been chipping away at that… Continue reading Cruz Reminds Constituents That The ‘Back Door Means No Babies and No Abortions’

Mitch McConnell Named Oncology Magazine’s ‘Cancer of the Millennium’

Throughout his lengthy career in politics, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (Q-Moscow) has won a few awards, mostly from right-of-center think tanks and conservative institutions. This week, McConnell racked up one more trophy, this time from the world’s only magazine devoted to doctors specializing in treating cancer. In the newest edition of Oncology Magazine, McConnell is given… Continue reading Mitch McConnell Named Oncology Magazine’s ‘Cancer of the Millennium’

Senate Republicans Wish Every American a Happy Sucking-Off Insurrectionist Former Presidents Day!

Today, kids all across America are off from school, banks are closed, and the mail isn’t running because it’s a federal holiday. Today is the day that Americans celebrate the time-honored tradition of sucking off insurrectionist former presidents throughout our nation’s history. It’s such an important holiday that Senate Republicans couldn’t wait to celebrate, and… Continue reading Senate Republicans Wish Every American a Happy Sucking-Off Insurrectionist Former Presidents Day!

STUDY: The Worst-Run Democrat Cities Are in The Worst-Run Republican Country

A newly published study seems to indicate that all the worst-run Democrat cities happen to be in the worst-run Republican country; namely the United States of America. UPDATE: Ann Coulter Still a Horse-Faced Racist Cuntrag In recent days, President Trump and his allies have tried to use the civil unrest in some major U.S. cities… Continue reading STUDY: The Worst-Run Democrat Cities Are in The Worst-Run Republican Country

Ghosts of Elijah Cummings and John Lewis Mistake Jar of Mayonnaise for Marco Rubio

THE GREAT BEYOND — There was a brief but quite ironically hilarious case of mistaken identity reported from the afterlife this morning. Reportedly, two late congressmen, both African Americans and strong champions of civil rights and equality mistook allegedly still-breathing Senator MORE: Hannity, Ingraham, Bongino, Hitler Support Feds’ Crackdown on Peaceful Portland Protesters The disembodied spirits… Continue reading Ghosts of Elijah Cummings and John Lewis Mistake Jar of Mayonnaise for Marco Rubio

Despite Lack of Rent, Obama Looking for ‘Less Racist and Stupid’ Place to Live

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former President Barack Obama announced today that he and his family are looking for a new space to call home, despite not being required to pay a single dollar in rent at their current location. Obama said his family is “looking for a place that’s a little less stupid and a lot… Continue reading Despite Lack of Rent, Obama Looking for ‘Less Racist and Stupid’ Place to Live