Pro-Life Republican Can’t Wait to Get His Picture Taken With Double Murderer

SHITDICK FLATS, ILLINOIS — 42 year old non-union, out of work carpenter Marcus Palumbozo uses three terms to describe his views and opinions. “Pro-life, Pro-God, Anti-Commie. That’s it. You could boil down my entire essence into those three things, no doubt about it,” Mr. Palumbozo told us during a recent Skype interview. Sen. Warren Proposes… Continue reading Pro-Life Republican Can’t Wait to Get His Picture Taken With Double Murderer

Trump Announces Next MAGA Rally Will Be Held in Rittenhouse Courtroom

FARTS-A-LAGO, FLORIDA — Former, one term, twice-forever-impeached President Donald Trump announced plans to hold another MAGA rally, and the venue might not be all that surprising to anyone. “I hereby decree as your once King and Ruler, that I shall be holding a MAGA rally next week, and let me just tell you, folks, it’s… Continue reading Trump Announces Next MAGA Rally Will Be Held in Rittenhouse Courtroom

Thoughts and Prayers Stop Next Mass Shooter Just Before He Pulls the Trigger

COUSINLOVER, ALABAMA — Some are calling it a “miracle.” Others are calling it a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. However one chooses to describe it, however, the fact remains that a mass shooting event in Alabama was halted today when some thoughts and prayers were able to get in between a shooter’s finger and the trigger on his… Continue reading Thoughts and Prayers Stop Next Mass Shooter Just Before He Pulls the Trigger

Obama Hopes Biden Remembers How to Take Everyone’s Guns, Jobs, and Bibles

UNDISCLOSED SHARIA COMMIE SOCIALIST BUNKER, SOROSLAND — It’s been four long years since Agenda 666 has been implemented, and former President Barack HUSSEIN Obama (D-Kenya) hopes that his old ticketmate, incoming President-elect Joe Biden “remembers his training” and can successfully get the program started back up. “Order 666 was of course the Obama executive order… Continue reading Obama Hopes Biden Remembers How to Take Everyone’s Guns, Jobs, and Bibles

NRA Member Vows to Triple Donations to Group That’s Robbed Him Blind for 25 Years

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Jethro Bohiggins bills himself as “the Internet’s premiere pro-MAGA podcaster and singer/songwriter,” and quite often he boasts about being a “lifelong NRA member.” Today, Jethro told his podcast audience that he plans to ramp-up the donations he makes to the National Rifle Association, even though the New York Attorney General… Continue reading NRA Member Vows to Triple Donations to Group That’s Robbed Him Blind for 25 Years

Proposed Amendment Would Replace All Other Amendments With Second Amendment

Weighed down by accusations that the pushback against Black Lives Matter protesters constitutes an attack on First Amendment rights, and in the wake of DC mayor Muriel Bowser’s invocation of the Third Amendment to attempt the removal of active duty military personnel from area hotels, the Trump administration announced today that they would seek to… Continue reading Proposed Amendment Would Replace All Other Amendments With Second Amendment

NRA President Says Obama Confiscated So Many Guns, Americans Were Left Defenseless Against Coronavirus

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA — NRA CEO and Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre told various gun manufacturers on a conference call this morning that he blames former President Barack Obama for a “large portion” of the issues facing the country during the coronavirus pandemic outbreak. LaPierre believes that the Obama administration “confiscated and took away” so many Americans’… Continue reading NRA President Says Obama Confiscated So Many Guns, Americans Were Left Defenseless Against Coronavirus

NRA to Open Virginia “Gun Land” Amusement Park for Kids

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA — The National Rifle Association announced plans this week to build a new, gun-themed amusement park aimed at kids called “Gun Land.” Gun Land will feature four unique, firearm oriented lands, much like amusement parks such as Disneyland and Disneyworld. The lands include Second Amendment Land, Stand Your Ground Land, The Land of the… Continue reading NRA to Open Virginia “Gun Land” Amusement Park for Kids