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Disney Apologizes For Using His Soul To Sculpt Animatronic Trump In Hall of Presidents


ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA — The Walt Disney Company has issued an official apology to the White House this morning, saying they are “forever sorry” for the likeness of President Trump that they created for his animatron that is now featured in their Hall of Presidents attraction in Orlando, Florida.

“We never should have listened to the Russian engineers we hired to install the animatronic Trump when they suggested we that we use his soul for its outward appearance,” the Disney statement reads. “Because of of course when you look inside someone like Mr. Trump, all you’re going to find is a mangled mass of flesh, alleged hair, racism, and pure, unadulterated hatred of anything that doesn’t fit his base’s narrow view of the world.”

Disney’s statement says in hindsight they should’ve used “one of the myriad of available photos” of Trump that show him to be “the photogenic, wizened man 30% of Americans know and believe him to be.” The statement defends their likeness, however, saying “anyone who helps rip healthcare from 13 million Americans is pretty ugly on the inside.”

“Using an image of President Trump’s soul to represent his outer aesthetic was a regrettable decision,” Disney writes. “However, in our defense, we do believe our artists absolutely nailed Trump’s soul in his animatron. You can really see how much never being held accountable has warped his mindset so much that he truly believes he can get away with the most egregious things, and thereby shows us he’s got one doozy of an ugly soul.”

In the future, Disney promises to only use photos of the outward appearance of presidents, not their souls.


“As tempting as it may be to give our park guests as truly an authentic experience of seeing a president as possible, the truth is that President Trump’s feelings are so easily hurt that we really just feel bad about this whole thing,” Disney’s statement reads.

Disney will be re-imagining the Trump animatron beginning the first quarter of next year. Attached to the statement was the picture they will use to help refine his features to make him look more representative of his outsides. The picture is seen below.

“We are sure President Trump and his loyal group of 3 out of 10 Americans will much be satisfied with this representation of him,” Disney writes.

President Trump did not comment on this story.

You can read more satire like this every day on The Political Garbage Chute and Alternative Facts.

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