Laura Ingraham Says “U Can’t Touch This” and “La Vie En Rose” Are Her Favorite Kanye West Songs

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Over the last few days, American conservatives have touted their new, surprising ally, rapper Kanye West.

Last week, West turned the social media world on its ear when he started tweeting support for conservative pundit Candace Owens, calling her a “free thinker.” West went on to tweet out videos produced by former comic artist Scott Adams — creator of the “Dilbert” comic strip — who has been an ardent and avid supporter of Trump’s since the beginning. Mr. West has, however, also tweeted since that Parkland shooting survivor Emma Gonzalez is his “hero,” so whether or not he has made a full pivot to conservatism is anyone’s guess.

On her radio show today, Fox News host Laura Ingraham was asked by a caller how she felt about West’s shift, however large, to the right.

“Oh! I think it’s just fantastic, and it’s really triggering to liberals to see someone they thought was living on their literal slave plantation see the light and come over to the side that has people on it that would still love to fight for the side that had the slave plantations,” Ingraham said. “And you know what? I’ve always really loved Konner’s work! He’s really a great rappist, that Kevin West!”

Ingraham heaped praise on West, diving into a discussion of her favorite songs of his.

“Honestly I’ve been a fan of his so long, I couldn’t name one single favorite song,” Ingraham said. “But I really did love U Can’t Touch This! Using that sampled bass line of Eddie Murphy’s was such a genius stroke! Oh God! But I just remembered how much I absolutely loved his rendition of La Vie En Rose! No one plays saxophone like Satchmo West!”

Ms. Ingraham also said she was impressed that West could “multitask so well.”

“I had no idea Kielbasa could do so much at once,” Ingraham gushed. “But not only is he a world class entertainer, he’s been running the Housing and Urban Development department like a boss! Of course, we conservatives knew hiring an urban to run the department with ‘urban’ in its title was a master level move by Dear President Trump, so no big surprise there.”

After finishing her praise of West, Ingraham pivoted to another topic.

“Now, let’s get away from the brilliant Kilroy West’s political awakening, which I think we should encourage and keep listening to, and talk about why Colin Kaepernick and LeBron James should shut up forever and ever,” Ingraham said, letting out a tiny fart at the same time, which witnesses said later smelled like a burning cross and crisp white cotton robes.

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By James Schlarmann

Amateur burrito wrangler. Winner of zero lifetime achievement awards.


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