Senator Asks Judge Jackson If She’d Give Matt Gaetz a Lighter Sentence

Over the last two days, Federal Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson has been subjected to questioning from the Senate Judiciary Committee members as part of her confirmation to the Supreme Court. Brown, if confirmed, would replace outgoing Justice Stephen Breyer.

During the course of questioning, a clear and obvious pattern emerged. Namely, Republican Senators decided to impugn Jackson’s judgment by focusing on her sentencing of those convicted under child pornography statutes. For instance, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun), who is a friend of convicted child predator Josh Duggar, slammed Jackson for not giving everyone convicted on child porn charges the maximum allowable sentence. During one exchange, Jackson was asked about a particularly interesting hypothetical scenario.

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“Okay, now, let’s turn to a hypothetical situation, and I know judges aren’t supposed to comment on these kinds of things, but we all know these hearings aren’t about you. They’re about me getting sound bytes for Fox News,” Sen. Thom Tillis began, “But, please, indulge me for just a moment, will you.”

Jackson smiled politely and told Tillis it’s his “right to ask anything” he wants.

“So, let’s just say, for example, a certain Florida congressdouche came before your court. Let’s just say there’s credible evidence he used VenMo to travel across state lines and pay for sex with a woman he knew was underage,” Tillis asked, “and let’s say his name rhymes with Splatt Fates. Given what we’ve seen about your past sentencings, if this man were convicted of this crime, would you go lightly on him as well?”

Judge Jackson thanked Tillis for the question, and then answered.

“Well, Senator, I have to once more answer you by politely reminding you it would not be appropriate for me to discuss a hypothetical case that may come before me,” Jackson said. “However, I can say this much based on what you told me – that guy sounds like a real big piece of shit. He probably can’t control the volume of his voice, and I’m just taking a guess here, I think he may have a documented drinking problem. Not sure if that helps, but I hope it does.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.