At Our Last Klan Rally, Tucker Carlson Promised Me He Isn’t Racist

The following editorial was submitted by Fritz Palumbozo, a self-described white nationalist and writer for The Dan Bongino Show. Mr. Palumbozo is a frequent contributor and guest on Tucker Carlson’s show, and has been a close, personal friend of Carlson’s for over a decade. The views and opinions expressed are those of Mr. Palumbozo, and not those of this outlet, it’s ownership, or staff.

When are liberals in this country going to leave my friend and fellow klansman Tucker Carlson the hell alone and quit accusing him of being a racist? It’s gone on long enough. Tucker goes on his show, mentions the white replacement theory a few dozen times, paints everyone who believes Black Lives Matter as some anti-white extremist for five years, and all of a sudden it’s open season and liberals are calling him racist?

It’s pathetic, and absurd, and I hope that Tucker sues everyone who calls him a racist for libel.

I happen to know for an ironclad fact that Tuck isn’t racist, because at the last cross burning we attended together he told me so himself! I’ll never forget it.

We were dousing the crosses with gasoline, and having a really nice time together, reminiscing about the old days when you didn’t have look over shoulder before telling a joke with the N-word in it. Tucker made a good point about how nobody used to accuse you of being racist just because you told a racist joke. He lamented the fact that he couldn’t tell some of his favorite jokes anymore, for fear of being accused of being even more racist, which again, he told me flat-out he is not.

Tucker reminded me, and I’m glad he did really, that the real racists are the people pointing out racism to racist people. But he also reminded me it’s extremely racist to ask white people to think about racism in general, and that’s why we conservatives fight so hard against critical race theory. Even it it weren’t in the Bible as one of Satan’s literal tools of evil, we’d be against CRT on those grounds alone.

As Tuck was putting on his hood and lighting his torch, he was really fired up about being accused of being racist. I could tell that the tears forming in his eyes weren’t just from the smoke of the burning crosses irritating them. It really does offend and hurt him that he’s called a racist just because he keeps implying that white people are superior and everyone is trying to take their natural supremacy away!

All I know is that I never saw Tucker do or say anything racist. Hell, Tuck even took us all out to Taco Bell after the klan rally. Who among us thinks that a racist would take us to a place with food items written in MEXICAN on their menu if he was racist? That’s what I thought.

Checkmate, libs.

@jamboschlarmbo

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♬ original sound – James Schlarmann

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on TikTok, Patreon, Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.