She Will Not Comply With Vaccine Mandates, Mask Mandates, or Basic Standards of Human Hygiene

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Freshman congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene is, to put it bluntly, not a fan of either vaccination or masking mandates.

Despite owning stock in companies that produce COVID-19 vaccines, Greene has railed against them and proudly claims to be unvaccinated herself. In her single term so far, Greene has racked up tens of thousands of dollars in fines for not wearing a mask on the House floor and around the capitol facility.

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Greene has made resisting the mandates a big part of political rhetoric. Just his week, she posted, simply, “WE WILL NOT COMPLY!” on Facebook.

While some may have assumed that Greene’s post was solely referencing vaccine and mask mandates, her office issued a clarification this morning, indicating that there was another thing the congresspony was declaring she would no longer comply with.

“Yes, it is true that Marjhorsearie remains steadfastly against Commie Joe Biden’s vaccine and mask mandates, her Facebook post is also referencing something else she is committed to being against,” Rep. Greene’s office wrote in a statement, “and that’s human hygiene.”

Greene “does not, and will not ever use human bathing facilities,” the statement further informs the public.

“As a demon-equine hybrid animal, it should be obvious that Mango doesn’t use showers or bath tubs designed for humans, and this office wishes to reiterate that the congresspony does not, and will not ever, use human bathing facilities.”

Sources close enough to Greene to do a sniff test have confirmed for us that she does at least appear to be actively not participating in human hygiene events.

“She smells like what Don Jr leaves in the toilet after a night of booger sugar and meth,” congressional aide Marla Bobarla told us. “So, it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that she doesn’t practice any hygiene, human or otherwise.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.