Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It’s not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the Supreme Court’s conservative majority is poised to help roll back abortion rights in America to a time before Roe Vs Wade, 34 year old Scott Manoot says that he’s been cleaning up after he “spanks it” faster than… Continue reading Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

Ben Shapiro: “My Wife Told Me Not to Worry If I Can’t Find Her Clitoris, Someone Can”

Ben Shapiro can’t find his wife’s clitoris, and most nights he absolutely refuses to do so. However, according to Mr. Shapiro, his wife is “totally and completely okay” with that. This is all according to the latest episode of Shapiro’s podcast. “You know, I’ve had at least six different smug liberals tell me I shouldn’t… Continue reading Ben Shapiro: “My Wife Told Me Not to Worry If I Can’t Find Her Clitoris, Someone Can”

Overturning Roe Doesn’t Go Far Enough. Sperm Must Be Given Full Citizenship.

The following editorial was written by Will Riccilumbo, a Fox News contributing editor and 2020’s Shitdick Magazine “Shitdick of The Year.” The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Riccilumbo, and not necessarily those of this outlet, its management, or staff. For all the handwringing the left is doing about losing Roe Vs Wade… Continue reading Overturning Roe Doesn’t Go Far Enough. Sperm Must Be Given Full Citizenship.

Texas Woman Files Paperwork to Reclassify Her Genitals as a Firearm

LIBTERTAD de CUERPA, TEXAS — Next week, a court in Texas will hear opening arguments in a case that could have wide-ranging impacts in the Lone Star State. If 26 year old Kimberly Miller’s petition is granted by the judge in the case, her genitals will officially be recognized as firearms, and by Texas law… Continue reading Texas Woman Files Paperwork to Reclassify Her Genitals as a Firearm

Texas Man’s Jizz Sock Reports Him to Abortion Tip Line

CARGA DE BOLAS, TEAXS –When Gov. Greg Abbott signed Texas’ new draconian abortion restriction into law last week, it’s not very likely that he could have foreseen a case like this one. “Look, did I wanna report Chuck? Of course not. Chuck and me, well Chuck’s cock and me anyway, we go way, way back,”… Continue reading Texas Man’s Jizz Sock Reports Him to Abortion Tip Line

Texas Democrat Authors Bill That Would Sentence Masturbating Men to Death

AUSTIN, TEXAS — Republican lawmakers in the State of Texas are trying to get a bill passed and onto the governor’s desk that would criminalize all abortion procedures without any exceptions. Because capital punishment is legal in Texas, it is entirely possible that one outcome of this legislation would be for a woman to be… Continue reading Texas Democrat Authors Bill That Would Sentence Masturbating Men to Death