Overturning Roe Doesn’t Go Far Enough. Sperm Must Be Given Full Citizenship.

The following editorial was written by Will Riccilumbo, a Fox News contributing editor and 2020’s Shitdick Magazine “Shitdick of The Year.” The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Riccilumbo, and not necessarily those of this outlet, its management, or staff. For all the handwringing the left is doing about losing Roe Vs Wade… Continue reading Overturning Roe Doesn’t Go Far Enough. Sperm Must Be Given Full Citizenship.

Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s a day that many in this country thought would never come, but nevertheless has arrived and given all Americans hope for the emergence of a new day, the dawning of a new era as with the stroke of two pens and a handshake, Donald Trump and Barack Obama have formally ended… Continue reading Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas

God Orders Recall of Bibles Autographed by Trump

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — Larry “God” Schumway has announced an immediate and emergency recall of every Bible signed by President Donald Trump during his recent visit to tornado victims in Alabama. Schumay, President and CEO of Holy Trinity, Inc., the after-life’s most profitable and longest-running timeshare development, issued the recall after several of his future… Continue reading God Orders Recall of Bibles Autographed by Trump

General Trump Declares Victory In The War On Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A strident and victorious General Donald Trump — President of The United States of America — triumphantly burst onto the front lawn of the White House this morning, a house cat that he had reportedly just grabbed on his way out the door held aloft, and proclaimed victory in the War on… Continue reading General Trump Declares Victory In The War On Christmas