The following editorial was written by Will Riccilumbo, a Fox News contributing editor and 2020’s Shitdick Magazine “Shitdick of The Year.” The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Riccilumbo, and not necessarily those of this outlet, its management, or staff. For all the handwringing the left is doing about losing Roe Vs Wade… Continue reading Overturning Roe Doesn’t Go Far Enough. Sperm Must Be Given Full Citizenship.
Tag: Christians
Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas
WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s a day that many in this country thought would never come, but nevertheless has arrived and given all Americans hope for the emergence of a new day, the dawning of a new era as with the stroke of two pens and a handshake, Donald Trump and Barack Obama have formally ended… Continue reading Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas
Jesus Christ Has A Message For His Followers Who Vote For Trump: Fuck You
Jesus Christ does not mince words.
God Orders Recall of Bibles Autographed by Trump
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — Larry “God” Schumway has announced an immediate and emergency recall of every Bible signed by President Donald Trump during his recent visit to tornado victims in Alabama. Schumay, President and CEO of Holy Trinity, Inc., the after-life’s most profitable and longest-running timeshare development, issued the recall after several of his future… Continue reading God Orders Recall of Bibles Autographed by Trump
General Trump Declares Victory In The War On Christmas
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A strident and victorious General Donald Trump — President of The United States of America — triumphantly burst onto the front lawn of the White House this morning, a house cat that he had reportedly just grabbed on his way out the door held aloft, and proclaimed victory in the War on… Continue reading General Trump Declares Victory In The War On Christmas
God To Renew Just 20% Of Alabama Republicans’ Christian Memberships
“This guy takes the hypocritical taco.”
After Obamacare Repeal Fails, Ted Cruz Says He’ll Have to Return to Killing ‘Zodiac Style Instead’
Senator Ted Cruz tells a church congregation he’s got to go back to doing things the old school way, after the GOP can’t repeal Obamacare.
Preacher Who Prayed With Trump Wakes Up With Third Degree Hand Burns
Reverend Malloy recently “laid hands” on President Trump, and has burns on his hands to prove it.
Western Wall Was “Unimpressed” By Trump’s Hand Size
During its visit with President Trump, Israel’s Western Wall noted that it was not overly impressed by the commander in chief’s mitts.
Asked About Trump’s “Religious Freedom” Order, Jesus Christ Does the Jack-Off Gesture
Don’t ask Jesus Christ about the religious freedom order Donald Trump just signed. Not unless you want a sarcastic reply.