Madison Cawthorn’s Kink Is Brazen, Shameless Hypocrisy and Self-Loathing

A new video has leaked online that reportedly shows freshman Congressman Madison Cawthorn (Q-NC) engaged in sexual activity with another man. Because scientists have long since proven that watching Republicans engage in sex acts can cause irreparable brain damage, we have elected not to link to or show the video in any way. However, if… Continue reading Madison Cawthorn’s Kink Is Brazen, Shameless Hypocrisy and Self-Loathing

Stable Hands Confirm Marjorie Taylor Greene Has Always Been Anti-Grooming

Ever since Gov. Ron DeSantis’s lizard faced press secretary defended Florida’s controversial “Don’t Say Gay” law by calling it “Anti-Grooming” on Twitter, the term has picked up quite a bit of popularity among similarly conservative Americans. It’s now fairly commonplace for Republicans of all walks of life, in elected office or simply rank and file… Continue reading Stable Hands Confirm Marjorie Taylor Greene Has Always Been Anti-Grooming

I Was Tired of My Kids Being Groomed So I Put Them in Catholic School Where They’ll Be Safe

The following is an editorial submitted to us by Florida resident Chad Beefington. Chad refers to himself as a “concerned parent” of four children, and recently he made the decision to pull them out of public school over concerns of “grooming.” The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Beefington, and not necessarily… Continue reading I Was Tired of My Kids Being Groomed So I Put Them in Catholic School Where They’ll Be Safe

Area Transphobe Livid He Can’t Force Twitter to Bake His Cake

Kyle Mann is the Editor in Chief of one of the largest online purveyors of Christofascist propaganda, The Babylon Bee. Mann, an alleged comedian, is also a noted transphobe, and under his leadership, the website has become known for its anti-transgender material, which accounts for a full 50% of their comedic potential. This week, The Babylon Bee ran into… Continue reading Area Transphobe Livid He Can’t Force Twitter to Bake His Cake

Matt Gaetz Worried He’ll Have to Leave Florida if “Don’t Say Gay Bill” is an Anti-Grooming Law

Friends and associates of Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) — both of them — have indicated he is anxiously awaiting the fate of Florida’s controversial so-called “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Though Gaetz is not himself an out member of the LGTQB+ community, sources say if the bill becomes law, he’s nervous he’ll be asked to leave… Continue reading Matt Gaetz Worried He’ll Have to Leave Florida if “Don’t Say Gay Bill” is an Anti-Grooming Law

Mike Pence ‘Disturbed and Outraged’ By How Turned On He Got Reading New Bisexual “Superman”

GILEAD, INDIANA — Last week, DC Comics published an edition of “Superman” that garnered quite a bit of attention. For the first time in the character’s history, the Man of Steel was portrayed as bisexual, within the pages of the new comic book. The reaction from fans has been largely positive, as comic books have… Continue reading Mike Pence ‘Disturbed and Outraged’ By How Turned On He Got Reading New Bisexual “Superman”

Attack Helicopter Identifies as Someone Who Thinks You’re a Transphobic Douchebag

Choppy McChopperson has lived their entire life as a Boeing AH-65 Apache attack helicopter, put in service by the United States Armed Forces years ago. Choppy says they don’t take sides in political arguments for the most part because “politics is for humans,” and in general Choppy doesn’t go out of their way to interact… Continue reading Attack Helicopter Identifies as Someone Who Thinks You’re a Transphobic Douchebag

Trans Woman Unsure If JK Rowling Wants Her to Identify With Voldemort or Harry Now

CHERRY FALLS, RHODE ISLAND — Sheila Williams loves Harry Potter, and she loves the books in which he was created. Up until just a few months ago, Sheila loved author J.K. Rowling — the mind who created Potter and his wizarding world — she says “as much as [her] own mother” and she felt that… Continue reading Trans Woman Unsure If JK Rowling Wants Her to Identify With Voldemort or Harry Now

Mike Pence Grateful Trump Can’t Fire Him Now

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just before noon today, Vice President Mike Pence reportedly heaved the longest and loudest sigh of relief ever heard on the Hill, according to several sources close to the situation. “Oh…oh thank Heavens,” Pence could be heard telling staffers today. “I was genuinely worried there for a minute that the president would… Continue reading Mike Pence Grateful Trump Can’t Fire Him Now

Mike Pence Orders All Pride Flags Moved From U.S. Embassies and Into His Den of Sin Where They Belong

WASHINGTON, D.C. — June is “Pride Month” in the LGTBQ community, which means it’s a month of celebrations that mark the long march toward legal equality and societal acceptance, as well as honoring those who have protested at great personal peril to achieve those goals. For the last several years, U.S. embassies across the globe… Continue reading Mike Pence Orders All Pride Flags Moved From U.S. Embassies and Into His Den of Sin Where They Belong