A Complete List of Republican Interns Who Will No Longer Get Abortions After SCOTUS Shreds Roe

It seems that the nation is closer than it’s been in 50 years to allowing states to restrict access to abortion care completely. Despite assurances to the Senate judiciary committee to the contrary, three conservative Supreme Court Justices — appointed by Donald Trump — are poised to throw out the landmark ruling that affirmed a… Continue reading A Complete List of Republican Interns Who Will No Longer Get Abortions After SCOTUS Shreds Roe

She’s One of Congress’ Loudest Pro-Life Voices. Ironically, She’s Also a Botched Abortion.

Every Sunday, a devout evangelical believer of Secret Jewish Space Lasers devotes at least one post on her Facebook page to the topic of abortion. She is one of the loudest pro-life voices in the House of Representatives, and is not shy about criticizing those who consider themselves pro-choice. One could accuse freshman Rep. Marjorie… Continue reading She’s One of Congress’ Loudest Pro-Life Voices. Ironically, She’s Also a Botched Abortion.

Poll Shows Majority Approves of Aborting Texas

A few weeks back, Texas legislators passed a new six-week restriction on abortion procedures in the state. The law effectively deputizes citizens of Texas to tattle on each other, and receive up to $10,000 for essentially suing someone who helps an abortion take place after six weeks of pregnancy. Doctors and abortion advocates have noted… Continue reading Poll Shows Majority Approves of Aborting Texas

Pro-Life Republican Against Life Saving Vaccines and Masks

IDIOTSBERG, TENNESSEE — Sam Bedford has been what he calls a “rock-ribbed, dyed-in-the-wool, Constitutional pro-life conservative Republican” his entire life. Bedford’s mom and dad are Republicans, though his maternal grandparents were both Democrats of the FDR vintage. However, for his entire life, Sam says he has “worked tirelessly” to overturn the landmark Roe Vs. Wade… Continue reading Pro-Life Republican Against Life Saving Vaccines and Masks

Alabama Pro-Lifers Grant Personhood to Precum

LAKE DORMIR AVEC LEURS COUSINS, ALABAMA — Pro-life Republicans in the State of Alabama have been steadily attacking the rights of women in their state to seek an abortion for quite some time, and have been particularly agressive in the Trumpian era of American politics. This year, Republicans in the Yellowhammer State passed the country’s… Continue reading Alabama Pro-Lifers Grant Personhood to Precum

Study Shows 10 Out of 10 People Against Abortion Never Have to Get One

A new study just recently published indicates that for every ten people who oppose abortion, ten are not required by any laws to have one. The study, conducted by Common Sense Polling in collaboration with No Duh Data Solutions, shows that fully 100% of the anti-abortion population in America is not under any obligation whatsoever to get an abortion.… Continue reading Study Shows 10 Out of 10 People Against Abortion Never Have to Get One

Tennessee Pro-Life Republicans Want to Outlaw All Sex

THEOCRACY MOUNTAIN, TENNESSEE — In the state of Tennessee, pro-life forces are growing tired of other red states getting all the press and headlines about their abortion bans, and Republican lawmakers in the state believe they may have found a way to trump all the others. In recent weeks, abortion bans in Alabama, Missouri, Georgia,… Continue reading Tennessee Pro-Life Republicans Want to Outlaw All Sex

Expectant Alabama Mother Will Go Back and Finish Middle School Once Her Kids Are Out of the House

NOVIA NIÑA CREEK, ALABAMA — Life isn’t always easy for Crystal Shanahan these days, but then again she knew that things could get harder before they got easier when she found out shew as going to be a mother for the first time. Crystal says that between managing the prenatal appointments and getting her home… Continue reading Expectant Alabama Mother Will Go Back and Finish Middle School Once Her Kids Are Out of the House

Georgia Man Picks Out Burial Plot for Old Gym Sock

ENFANT MARIÉE PEAK, GEORGIA — Skeeter McCoy was spotted at the Eternal Gardens mortuary, funeral home, and cemetery today.  What brought McCoy to the cemetery, however, was not anything he was expecting to have to take care of last week. However, by the time Republicans in the Georgia state legislature had passed their sweeping new abortion… Continue reading Georgia Man Picks Out Burial Plot for Old Gym Sock