HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA — During the decade known as the 1980’s, there were many hit TV shows for audiences to enjoy. One such show was about a ragtag group of Vietnam vets that came together each week to help an ordinary American citizen in trouble. The show was called, “The A-Team,” and word in Tinseltown is that it’s being rebooted, and episodes will air on the official White House social media channels, but there will be some notable differences between the new show and the old one.
“Right off the bat, people will notice that the character of Hannibal, the older, wiser colonel who led the team will be replaced by the character known as ‘The Chosen One’,” Capital Broadcasting Company’s Will Wickstrom told reporters at a press conference announcing the show’s reboot earlier this week, “and he’ll instead be a doddering, unwise old man. Oh, also the show’s called ‘The A-Hole Team.'”
The premise of the show is loosely built around the Trump administration’s rise to power and their first term in office. The main characters will be The Chosen One, Kellyanne Conway (who will be played by veteran comic actor the Crypt Keeper, Stephen Miller played by a literal burlap sack full of garbage, and Mike Pence, who will only be heard from within a dark closet, and not seen. Conservative filmmaker Dinesh D’souza will direct, and infamous right-wing alleged journalist James O’Keefe III will edit all the shows to make it look like they’re documentaries about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton selling fetuses named “Ben GozzI’ on the open market.
“The only problem is that there are almost too many A-holes in the administration for us to choose from,” Wickstrom said, “so we think we might make the cast of characters rotate week to week. That way, quite a few more A-holes can be featured.”
Wickstrom says executives think the audience won’t mind if characters come and go.
“The fact is, this administration has had a hell of a lot of turnover anyway, so they won’t really mind seeing the A-holes come and go, we think,” Wickstrom explained. “Besides, the key A-holes — Conway, Trump, Betsy Devos, Rick Perry, and Ben Carson — will always be in the mix. If the country can’t get rid of those A-holes, then neither can we.”
Production on “The A-Hole Team” will begin shortly, with episodes slated to debut in the new year. The White House issued a statement saying they are “cautiously, but bigly excited” to see the show once it airs.
“The president’s ego is always in need of a stroke,” Ms. Conway told reporters this morning, “so even if it’s a show making fun of him, at least it’s about him, and in some way, that makes him feel good inside.”
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because they have a definition of hate speech that includes “calling Ann Coulter the C-word.”