WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donaldito Trumpolini gave an address to His nation from the White Power House today, announcing alongside Gestapo Generalisimo Guillermo Barr and FBI Director Christopher Wray, that he was authorizing a surge of federal troops into Chicago, Illinois. President Trumpolini has been threatening the Windy City with a show of force for… Continue reading Trump Announces Start of “Operation Legendary Fascist Show of Force Against People of Color”
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Local Republican Realizes He Hasn’t Blamed Anything On Obama in 9 Months
“I can just blame him for everything Trump screws up.”
Trump’s Sons Are Going to Scare White House Trick-or-Treaters as ‘Pointy-Headed Ghosts’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning the Trump administration announced that First Sons Donald Jr. and Eric Trump will be participating in a new tradition at the White House for Halloween this year. The Trump sons will be waiting on the White House front lawn and as trick-or-treating children approach to get candy, they will jump… Continue reading Trump’s Sons Are Going to Scare White House Trick-or-Treaters as ‘Pointy-Headed Ghosts’
White House Announces Super Bowl Pre-Game Show Will Feature Tribute To Bowling Green Massacre Victims
During the pre-game show before Super Bowl LI, a tribute to the fallen heroes of the Bowling Green Massacre will air.
The Previously Untold Story Of A Hero Who Survived Jade Helm But Fell During The Bowling Green Massacre
One man served during two of America’s most harrowing domestic combat events in the last five years. This is his alternatively true story.
Report: Tensions In Trump Call With Australia’s PM Were Result Of Language Barrier
The White House is now saying there was a very reasonable explanation for the tension between Trump and the prime minister of Australia.
Trump Signs Order Giving All Who Fell In Bowling Green Massacre Double Purple Hearts
The Bowling Green Massacre is forever burned in every good, clean, God-loving, ammo hoarding, conspiracy believing patriot’s brain.
Nation Wakes Up On Groundhog Day, Reliving Same Nightmare From The Day Before
A nation wakes up on Groundhog Day and finds that indeed, its long national nightmare is just beginning.
‘But Who Will Think Of The Broken Windows,’ Pearl Clutching Neoliberal Shouts While Watching UC Berkeley Riot
A riot at UC Berkeley has one middle-aged neoliberal man very concerned…for material property.
Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 12
You might think that “Make America Great Again” is just meaningless pabulum and not worth your time, but American Greatness can be measured.